Lyrics Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me? - Live - Frank Zappa

Honey honey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey
Baby don't you want a man like me

He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe)
His favorite phrase was "OUTA-SITE!"
He had an Irish Setter
It was a singles bar (wait a minute, let's do this part again...)
It was a singles bar, the band was tight
They did the Bump together
What a splendid sight, her teeth were white

The drinks were cheap (it was Ladies Nite)
He was glad that he met her
She was an office girl (her name was Betty)
Her favorite group was HELEN REDDY
(They discussed the weather)

Honey honey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey
Baby don't you want a, baby don't you want a, baby don't you want a, man

She was a lonely sort, just a little too short
Her jokes were dumb and her favorite sport
Was hockey (in the winter)
He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
Any sport with a PUCK (why can't I remember the words of this song)
He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
Any sport with a PUCK as he jabbed his elbow in her

Later on they went off to where the music was soft
The candles were drippy, they saw a REAL HIPPY
Who delivered their dinner
The rice was brown, and soon they found
That the crowd around that had jammed the room
Well it seemed to be getting thinner

Honey honey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey
Baby don't you want a, baby don't you want a, baby don't you want a, man

He took her home to a motor court
Tried to kiss her (he tried to ignore it)
He took her home to a motor court
She tried to kiss him...?
But it made him angry!

He called her a slut, a pig and a whore
A bitch and a cunt and she slammed the door
In a petulant frenzy!
On the sofa she weeps
BOO HOO HOO HOO
She weeps and she weeps
BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO
She weeps and she peeps
Through the curtain
He just got in his car
But the battery's dead
So he asks to use the phone
And she gives him some head
And that's the end of the story

Honey honey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey
Baby don't you want a, baby don't you want a, baby don't you want a, man