Lyrics Muffin Man - Frank Zappa

The muffin man is seated at the table
In the laboratory of the utility muffin research kitchen
Reaching for an oversized chrome spoon
He gathers an intimate quantity of dried muffin remnants
And brushing his scapular aside
Proceeds to dump these inside of his shirt
He turns to us and speaks
"Some people like cupcakes better
I, for one, care less for them"

Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot
Of a fully charged icing anointment utensil
He puts forth a quarter-ounce green rosette n-
Let's try that again
He puts forth a quarter-ounce green rosette
Near the summit of a dense but radiant muffin
Of his own design

Later he says
"Some people, some people heh
Like cupcakes exclusively, while myself
I say there is naught, nor ought there be
Nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey Earth
As that prince of foods, the muffin"

Girl, you thought he was a man
But he was a muffin
He hung around till you found that
He didn't know nothin'
Girl, you thought he was a man
But he only was a-puffin'
No cries is heard in the night
As a result of him stuffin'

Girl, you thought he was a man
But he was a muffin
No cries is heard in the night
As a result of him stuffin'

Bruce Fowler on trombone
Napoleon Murphy Brock on tenor sax
And lead vocals
Terry Bozzio on drums
Tom Fowler on bass
Denny Walley on slide
George Duke on keyboards
Captain Beefheart on vocals
And soprano sax and madness

Thank you very much for coming to the concert tonight
Hope you enjoyed it
Goodnight Austin, Texas, wherever you are