Lyrics The Rewards of a Career In Music (Live) - Frank Zappa

I'd like to tell you about the first time I went down to take some piano lessons
From the lady on the corner
Her name was Elmira Snodgrass
That was really her name

I was seven years old and my mother took me down, introduced me
She got her little book of stars out, you know
You get a blue star if you play your lesson with no mistakes
And she— oh, she was really into it

So the first week I went down there
It really didn't mean so much to me
But I thought her name was so funny that I had to keep commenting on it

And she said, "Johnny, you're gonna have to straighten up a little there if we're gonna get along"
So uh, I think I got a Red Elephant that week
I didn't do too well

So uh, I straightened up next week and uh—
I forget what the tune was, but I tore it up
No mistakes at all
But uh, my posture was very poor
I had very poor posture so, uh, that week I got uh—I think it was a Blue Horse
And she said I was doing much better

Nice
So by the time the third week—I had started to practice by then
I was getting serious and I

Buns

I went back for my lesson and she said, uh,
"I hope you get a Blue Star this weekend, Johnny"
So I played my lesson and uh, I got my Blue Star and
She said, "You'll have to do better than that when ..."

She said,
So I started bringing in four books

And she said, "John, I don't think there's any more that I can teach you"
So I started taking lessons from her son, whose name was Freddie Snodgrass
He's a pretty good piano player, by the way

Buns that's all I can see
Buns, buns

I'd like to play jazz
You couldn't get very serious
I told her I wanted to play jazz
So she said, "Take that jazz and stick it under a rock"
So I had to forget about jazz
So I jumped into the classics
My first tune was, uh, Beethoven