Lyrics In Character - Goodsleeper

I don't think I can do this shit again
I ain't even gonna try to pretend
That I got stamina for the calamity
Damage that's all up inside of my head
Still I just sit in my bed
Takin up space
I'm already dead
Still I'm a mess
Why can't I just get up and fuckin' move on with my life
I tell all my friends not to let the past effect em
As if I never let the past effect me
Got plenty of mistakes on my shirt sleeve
I crumble on the floor, I'm phony
Never found a way to heal, and my
Old friends ways are still in mind
Feels like I'm maybe still behind
If I only knew then what I know now, right?

Maybe if i spoke up, then I'd be trusted
Past tense, I already know I fucked it
Reputations already been painted by
People I had to run away from
What if I didn't curl up and hide
What if I didn't sit and stay silent
What if I stopped blaming myself for shit I couldn't help
While lettin em paint me a lie
No mistakes now, it's all in character
Bout time I break that barrier
I'm a victim
I never admitted to myself how bad I really had it
Cause I didn't really think I deserved weight lifted
Taking all the blame, instinctive
Always been this way since a kid
No matter how much pain I was in
No one listened