Lyrics Funny Honey - Gwen Verdon , Barney Martin

For her first number
Miss Roxie Hart sings a song of love and devotion
Dedicated to her dear husband, Amos

Sometimes I'm right
Sometimes I'm wrong
But he doesn't care
He'll string along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine

Sometimes I'm down
Sometimes I'm up
But he follows 'round
Like some droopy-eyed pup
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine

He ain't no sheikh
That's no great physique
Lord knows, he ain't got the smarts
But look at that soul
I tell ya, that whole
Is a whole lot greater than the sum of his parts

And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree

What if the world slandered my name?
Why, he'd be right there
Takin' the blame
He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny, sunny, honey hubby of mine

Man got a right to protect his home and his loved ones, right?
Of course he has
I come in from the garage, Officer, see
And I see him coming through the window (uh-huh)
My wife Roxie, there sleeping
Like an angel (uh-huh)
An angel

He loves me so, that funny honey of mine

Name of deceased: Fred Casely
Fred Casely?
How can he be a burglar?
My wife knows him
He sold us our furniture!

Lord knows, he ain't got the smarts

Oh, she lied to me!
She told me it was a burglar!
You mean he was dead when you got home?
Yeah, she had him covered with a sheet already
She's tellin' me that cock and bull story about some burglar
And I oughta say I did it
'Cause I was sure to get off!
Burglar, huh?!

Now he shot off his trap
I can't stand that sap
Look at him go (and I believed her!)
Rattin', rattin' on me! (That little tramp!)
With just one more brain (so she was cheating on me, huh?)
What a half-wit he'd be (well, she can swing for all I care)
If they string me up (boy, I'm down at the garage)
I'll know, I'll know (workin' my butt off fourteen hours a day)
Who bought the twine (and she's up here munchin' her goddamn bon-bons and jazzin'!)

That scummy, crummy (Well, this time you pushed me too hard)
Dummy hubby of mine! (Boy, what a sap I was!)