Lyrics In The Event of My Demise, Mum I'm Sorry - IIIA

A lot of people ask me how I cope
The truth is I don't
The truth is I don't
The truth is I don't
How I cope
The truth is I don't

I was never one to cope
Sunken place back here again
I guess I need a rope
Irony cause I'm on the ropes
Losing battles left and right
Flat footed cross legged can't keep up the fight
Bloody teeth
I smile with them
Cashmere tears
I laugh with them
Fuck my name
It was never meant to be written
Existence played out
I place myself in the rhythm
In every man I lost, child is hidden
Middle man of existence is sadness
The middling man kept his millions in time capsules
So if time is money I'm spending credit cards faster
She puts coke on her tongue to numb my face
My nose runs but my feet
Are stuck in place
My mind's stuck in place
I don't make love
I give you pleasure while I disassociate
Look
Fuck with me famo
The punchline ammo
The wordplay clipped
I've prayed for relief
Now I watch God laugh every time
I take a hit
Eyes numb and out of focus
When I do it I know you'll hold us
No hocus pocus
But watch me disappear

Look, this life's a window I might jump
This life's a window I might jump
This life's a window I might jump
This life's a window I might jump
I should've, I might jump
I might jump
In the event of my demise
Mom, I just wanna say I'm sorry

This is for the daughter I know I'll never have
Or maybe for the inner child I'm about to adopt
I love you dearly, that's the core plot
The core stem, petal truth
I never thought tears would bloom when the booth in sooth
I'm sorry I never let you come near
I'm sorry for all the stumbling I've done in this world
I'm sorry for what I am, I hope you understand
Pain can't reach a dead man, cut me, see if I bleed
I hope the Lord grants me peace
Let my spirit unfurl, I hope Maclaine won't miss me
When I'm gone, I know the world moves on
I hope you forget my name when I'm gone
I hope things are better when I'm gone
And if you miss my presence, know it's tears of joy at the end of this song
Mom, I'm sorry, I just couldn't hold on
I don't wanna be no more
I never did
I hope you don't enjoy these writings of your troubled kid
Cashmere tears, nothing life and real
We cry when we want, we laugh when we die
Cold veins spill warm blood, I ask vanity why
Vanity tells ego we have much to realize
But I'm drowning now
Why did they make my reflection so divine
But I'm drowning now
I can feel water falling down my spine

Slice a window, I should jump
Slice a window, I should jump
Slice a window, I should jump
Slice a window, I should jump
Slice a window, I should jump
I should, I should, I should jump
I don't, I don't think I want to be yours anymore
I don't think I wanna be yours anymore
Just let me be

In the event of my demise
I just wanna say I'm sorry
I love you and I'm sorry
I love you and I'm sorry

Aight, bye mum