Lyrics Amazin' Man - John Bird

(Tuning and warming up from orchestra) OK. (Idi says) Right now, here we goin′ again from the top. An' this time, de first violins, er, I want you to plug the instruments into, er, into the gas main, because, er, I′m not getting the sound I am liking. An' the wives what am forming the backing group, let, er, you come round to the front of me where I can keep my eye on you. Dat better. Right now, here we are going. Stop now. Stop now when I am telling you! Listen, stop! Shut up! (Gunshot) Thank you. Now, I am counting you in with the well-known counting things. Here we go. One, two ... Oh, no! What come after two? ... Five!
(, two contralto, two soprano:)
Idi, Idi, Idi Amin, most amazin' man, there′s ever been.
He′s the general, the president, the king of the scene,
Idi, Idi, Idi Amin.
(Idi:) Look at the history, it packed with men,
What rising to the top and getting chopped agen. (again)
No one fathoming the secret of the whole damn thing.
You got to give the population something to sing!
()
(Idi:) Take Hitler, Stalin, Attilla the Nun,
No one got a good word for a single one.
Where these first-class geniuses all goin' wrong,
They never got the population singing along.
()
Listen, would the world-famous Kampala Glee Club mind keeping in the damn background? What the hell goin′ on here? It looking like some kind of musical coup to me. (Gunshot, soprano scream) That better. Three people more than enough for a quartet anyhow.
(, one soprano less.)
A modern leader gotta twist and shout,
Got tell the people let it all hang out.
If you don't want to vanish with a boot up the bum,
You gotta give the population something to hum.
(In the middle of this) "You still crowding the star!" two gunshots, two screams, one contralto continues uninterruptedly.)
Hmm, that a pretty good voice you got there. That voice possibly taking you right to the top of the charts. Yes, sir, ma′am, every chance you getting to the number one spot on the Uganda hit parade with a voice like that. You could be the next Englebert Bassey! You could be the new Zulu! (Gunshot, scream) Pity, the world only needin' one new star, really.
(Idi sings:)
Idi, Idi, Idi Amin, the most amazin′ man the world has seen,
I the general, the president, the king of the scene,
Idi, Idi, Idi Amin.
This singin' a piece of cake! Let's go now!
Idi, Idi, Idi Amin, Wow wow, Idi, Idi, Idi Amin...
Listen to the falsetto goin′ there! Not often a black man get that far up, you know.
Idi Amin, Idi Amin, Idi Amin, Idi, Idi Amin, Idi...
Don′t forget the name there, folks!
IdiAminIdiAmin...
How I love the sound of it!
Idi Amin, Idi Amin. Ooh, Idi, Idi Amin, Idi AminIdiAmin...?
Who wrote the lyrics? This is poetry!
IdiAminIdiAminIdiAmin...(Fadeout, losing rhythm and key)