Lyrics Confessions - Josh A

I shut everybody out 'cause I'm scared of rejection
Turns out, when you do that, you just write away your friendships
Scared I'll never make it 'cause the game is so congested
Scared I'll never make it 'cause the throne is too contested
Swear I'm 'boutta relapse, think I need someone to step in
Pills will be the death of me, they're my lethal weapon
Pray my death soon, I've been counting down the seconds
Hoping heaven's nearing me 'cause, yeah, I got some questions, like

Why would God bless me, and then he proceed to curse me?
Feels like every person that I fall in love with hurts me
Why doesn't the reaper take me if he's always lurking?
And why does every version of myself feel like the worst me?
Is it all in my head? If I fall to my death
Like, what's the ticket count to my funeral?
Swear I'm always oppressed, never know what's coming next
Like, why the hell am I always so miserable?
Darkness pulling me down till I'm a carcass
Guess at least then, I'll no longer have a hardship
World's cutthroat, sick of always being guarded
Why does no one want me when I always try my hardest?
Tell me, "It gets better," kinda feeling like you're lying
Try to lift the vibe, but inside I'm always dying
Devils in disguise always keeping me distracted
Worst kinda evil hides behind the most attractive
I try to break my habits, but it's hard when you're a addict
Just staring down my traumas on a track, they call it talent
Every time I cry for help, I get some brand new plaques in
Helping all these kids, but who helps me when I'm crashing?

Just take me down to the other side
Breaking, should I go? I can't decide
Waste me, I got nowhere to run and hide
Hate me, maybe then I'll feel alive

Cycles never ending when you're racking up a profit
I thought love would save me from myself, but I lost it
Now I'm on my own again, yeah, it's nothing new to me
The old ways, I'm never going back to how it used to be
It feels impossible to try to overcome
When the world is against me, I wish I could be enough
I wish I could be stronger, but instead I go numb
I can't go any longer, I'm done

So these are my confessions
Yeah, these are my confessions