Lyrics Dirt - Torres , Julien Baker

You were shouting through the screen door
With my back turned towards you in the driveway
I said, "What the hell you gotta scream at me for?"
You said, "You aren't gonna listen any other way"
Now I'm laid out on the sidewalk
You're my first dial after last call
Ringing you up just to shit-talk 'til I pass out

If you ask how I've been doing, I won't lie
More than half the time I'm only skating by
Waiting for the ice to melt beneath me
Why do I keep at it?

Sometimes it makes me feel better
Sometimes it makes me feel worse
Used to think that it was magic
Now I'm sure that it's a curse
Spеnd your whole life getting clеan
Just to wind up in the dirt
Got a shortcut into paradise
That's killing me, but I still gotta try to get there first

You were swinging for the fences
You were running over every cup
Now you're stuck back digging ditches
Still can't decide if you've run out of luck
'Cause it feels like winning tickets at the arcade
Just to trade 'em in for stuff
That you don't want, and you don't need
But all that you can take never feels like enough

'Cause sometimes it makes you feel better
Sometimes it makes you feel worse
Used to think that it was magic, oh
Now you're sure that it's a curse
Spend your whole life getting clean
Just to wind up in the dirt
Got a shortcut into paradise
That's killing me, but I still gotta try to get there first