Lyrics Claws in Your Back - Julien Baker

Collecting the circles that tell us
How old we are beneath our eyelids
Wearing a purple badge to prove what I did
Pump the vitals out of my wrist
′Cause I'm conducting an experiment on how it feels to die
Or stay alive

So try to stay calm, ′cause nobody knows
The violent partner you carry around
With claws in your back, ripping your clothes
And listing your failures out loud
It's more than the skeleton next to my coat
The black that I held in the back of my throat
Follows you straight into the dark
The easy way out and the hardest part

When it won't leave me alone
I′m better off learning how to be
Living with demons I′ve mistaken for saints
If you keep it between us I think they're the same
I think I can love the sickness you made
′Cause I take it all back, I change my mind
I wanted to stay, I wanted to stay