Lyrics No Man's Land - Loudon Wainwright III

He lives on the east side now, she's on the west
The Park is in-between them, I guess it's for the best
They're in no man's land, I can get me a walk
When they meet in the middle to hand me off

I got a big bark but no much of a bite
At the foot of her bed I sleep there through the night
She pets me and spoils me, calls me her little boy
And each and every Christmas I get a new squеaky toy

But when I stay with him we're both at a loss
'Causе he gets kinda alpha, acting like he's the boss
He and I used to wrassle back when I was just a pup
But we're older and slower now, we gave all that up

I never did figure out who was in the wrong
All that cryin' and yellin' went on way too long
Everything changes, I suppose that was it
But they both seem so sad since the day they split

I'm in the middle here in no man's land
I'm hopin' for a truce, it's hard to understand
Why all this had to happen, it don't even seem real
Why don't they just lick, make up, what's the big deal?

Never won a ribbon, I'm no best in show
I'm just a dog, mutt, and what the hell do I know?
Except the day that they got me sure was a great day
And they'd get back together if I had my way