Deacon Jones

"Good evening brothers and sister, I'm very sorry to announce that Deacon Jones
Will not be present at the services today. He had a slight accident. But he wants
Everyone to be happy, because when you're happy, that's what counts."

Brothers and sisters and sisterettes
Deacon Jones sends his deepest regrets
To the members of the flock who are new around here
There's somethin' 'bout the deacon that I wanna make clear

Who's honored and respected? (Deacon Jones)
Now who's so unaffected? (Deacon Jones)
When the sinner's moanin' low, who will share his tale of woe?
Lordy, Lord Hallelujah Deacon Jones

Who's so handsome and good lookin'? (Deacon Jones) Ummm Hmmm Ummm
Who can smell a rooster cookin'? (Deacon Jones) The good ole Deke
Who gets all the chicken breast and leaves the giblets for the rest?
Lordy, Lord Hallelujah Deacon Jones

Deacon Jones (Deacon Jones) Deacon Jones (Ho Deacon Jones)
Lordy, Lord Hallelujah Deacon Jones

Now who will keep a siser singin'? (Deacon Jones) Umm Hmmm Ummm Hmmmm
Who will also keep her phone a ringin'? (Deacon Jones) Yes, yes
And when she's left all alone at night, who will help her see the light?
Lordy, Lord, Hallelujah Deacon Jones

Now who's loved by all the congregation? (Deacon Jones) Yes, yes brother
And who gives them consolation? (Deacon Jones) Umm hmmm Umm hmmm
When a sister's feelin' blue, who is it that consoles here in her pew?
Lordy Lord, Hallelujah Deacon Jones

Deacon Jones (Deacon Jones) Deacon Jones (Ho Deacon Jones)
Lordy, Lord Hallelujah Deacon Jones

Now who's the country's greatest lover? (Deacon Jones) Yes, yes
Who makes all the other cats take cover? (Deacon Jones) Umm hmmm
And when your gal is leavin' you, now just tell me, who is she goin' to?
Lordy Lord, Hallelujah Deacon Jones

Now, who takes up all the contributions? (Deacon Jones) Yes, yes
And ah, who tends to their distribution? (Deacon Jones)
And before any of the dough is spent, who is it that takes out his 10 percent?
Lordy Lord, Hallelujah Deacon Jones

Deacon Jones (Deacon Jones) Deacon Jones (Ho Deacon Jones)
Lordy, Lord Hallelujah Deacon Jones
Deacon Jones (Deacon Jones) Deacon Jones (Ho Deacon Jones)
Lordy, Lord, Lordy Lord, Lordy Lord Hallelujah Deacon Jones