Lyrics I'm Dreaming of a Green Christmas - MC Lars

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Global Warming had wiped out the endangered field mouse
The stockings were hung by the big solar panels
While Timmy was watching the Planet Green Channel
It told him the ice Burgs were melting away
And Frosty was having a very bad day
The North Pole was boiling and Santa was blue
The elves now made toys with reindeer hoof glue
On the AstroTurf arose such a clatter
I sprang from the futon to see what was the matter.
When, what to my curious eyes should appear,
But Santa in a Prius pulled by flying reindeer,
"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! It's time to conserve!
On, Comet! On Cupid! We've got to preserve!

From the triple pained windows to the top of the wall!
Sustainable, sustainable, sustainable, y'all!"

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
One day there could be no more snow
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
Self-sustaining as my gift list grows
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
Not Santa surfing at the North Pole
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
In a biodiesel sleigh to Grandma's house we go!

And then Santa came into my house,
And he's like "I'm coming through the front door."
And I'm like "why?",
And he's like, "you don't have a chimney."
I said, "Burning carbon is bad."

Santa was dressed in organic cotton from his head to his feet
His red jacket was recycled, his Birkenstocks were sweet
A bundle of toys he had slung on his back
In a Nob Hill recycled tote bag sack
The ozone was depleting and the climate change was scary
But Santa's eyes were focused on still making Christmas merry
He brought me some rocks and a solar powered Wii
What was once a white beard was now a goatee
He rocked Aviators and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl of organic jelly
He spoke not a word, but flashed me a smirk
He said, "I'm mad green", and went straight to work
While Rudolph recharged his solar-powered nose
He used recycled wrapping paper that's how conservation goes
But I heard Santa exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"A Green Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
One day there could be no more snow
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
Self-sustaining as my gift list grows
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
Not Santa surfing at the North Pole
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
In a biodiesel sleigh to Grandma's house we go!

On the twelfth day of Christmas
Santa gave to me the following things:
Twelve solar fans
Eleven Britta filters
Ten red Sigg bottles
Nine bins for recycling
Eight compact light bulbs
Seven striped hemp beanies
Six recycled ornaments
Five books by Heinberg
Four bamboo bookshelves
Three million soybeans
Two low flow toilets
And One An Inconvenient Truth DVD

I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
One day there could be no more snow
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
Self-sustaining as my gift list grows
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
Not Santa surfing at the North Pole
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
In a biodiesel sleigh to Grandma's house we go!

Merry Christmas everyone!
Happy Kwanza! Happy Hanukah!
We're so inclusive! We're so politically correct!
We're keeping it real because it's Christmas.
All right kids.
This year for Christmas, don't ask for toys,
Ask your parents to donate a cow to starving families in Africa.
Be a good person!
Don't give me the mic, I get nutty.