Lyrics Alive - NotMyWill

As a kid I struggled with anger
Didn't have control of my temper
Every single day my mouth would run away my
Dad told me I need to learn to use my brain
Didn't treat my siblings right
Seems like every day we'd fight
Didn't think it would change I guess
I thought it'd always be this way
All of my insecurities held me tight
Like a vice holding a pipe
All of these lies they gripped me tight
Couldn't move couldn't run couldn't fight
I've struggled with depression
Don't really like stress and
When I felt pressure I'd block it out and
Push it out of my mind like it never happened
Funny cause it never ended up working
It would come back ten fold with a vengeance
Beat me to the ground then leave me hurting
Yeah leave me hurting
I've been looking for a way to
Escape and leave behind all of this
Pain but shame is pounding on my door
And guilt keeps calling my name
Keeps calling my name will I
Ever get away will I ever be the same
As I was before will I ever be more
Than a hollow shell just sitting and
Waiting and praying for there to be more
Didn't think the pain would ever leave
Didn't think people would believe in me
Didn't think this could ever happen
Now looking back I can say
I'm just happy I'm alive

When hideous faces try to lie
And you get beat up by life
And you have to swallow pride
That's the price to be alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive

I remember when time dragged on
I remember when it felt so long
I remember people telling me that someday
I would look back and wish it was still this way
But did I believe them no
I didn't think it be this stressful
I thought the world was so full of hope
And I didn't think that it'd be so cold
Lot of things in my life that I regret
Wake up in the middle of the night with a
Cold sweat
Praying that my dreams don't become reality
Then hide them away so that no one could see
I remember telling God I couldn't see him
I remember begging him for freedom
I remember every night when I shut my eyes tight
Wishing I didn't have to fight this fight
Dead of night wishing I could feel like
Everything in my life wouldn't take a beeline
Try to run away but the enemy keeps telling me that I am nothing he will never leave no matter what I try
Late nights
Wondering if I am ever gonna make it out
Think twice
Before I do something that I might regret
I've done it before and I'll do it again this is
My life
I am happy I'm alive
My time
Better believe I will shine
And know I don't take it for granted
You only live once
Looking round my life has it's ups and downs
I could just sit down and pout tell myself I won't make it out let depression weigh me down let the world just Drown me out
But that's hard to do cause
I'm just happy I'm alive

When hideous faces try to lie
And you get beat up by life
And you have to swallow pride
That's the price to be alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive

I've settled just a piece of my mind
Is it likely I'll fail that's right
If you think that stops me that is a lie
I'm just chasing after my birth right
I've settled just a piece of my mind
Say to all negatives good bye
It took a while to decide
But listening to you's just like
Setting off dynamite
I won't lie
This life's no piece of pie
At times I think it brings blight
I don't know why
There's been times wish I could just rewind
Looking at the world it could be my demise
So in turn I'm diligent to think twice
Take a warning as a legitimate sign
I don't wanna end up pillaged
When my life's in plight
In life I wanna be polite
So listen up I think I have advice
The enemy speaks to trip and entice
You better tread careful your walking on ice
Everything the devil says is lies
His only thought for you is to rob you blind
In the end his plan for you is to die
But look up there's hope in sight
You got the King of kings on your side
And you got Christ sitting at His right
Got the Holy Ghost living inside
So get up and tell the devil yeah
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
So when your scared and you want to hide
Take courage get up to fight
Cause you are a child of light
Fan the flame keep hope alive

When hideous faces try to lie
And you get beat up by life
And you have to swallow pride
That's the price to be alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
When hideous faces try to lie
And you get beat up by life
And you have to swallow pride
That's the price to be alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive

When hideous faces try to lie
And you get beat up by life
And you have to swallow pride
That's the price to be alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive
Happy I'm alive