Lyrics Monochrome - Novelists

I'm trying to survive these strange days
This life can be such an adventure
The world stands before my eyes wilder than it has ever been
I forgot these old memories of youth
That were caught right under the surface
Forgot these souvenirs of you that were calling back the pain
I never felt happy somehow
But I'm trying
I'm trying the best I can
I really wanna feel happy sometimes
Really wanna know where the lights are
But it only feels so wrong
It's eating me alive
I never know how to shorten the distance
Between my heart and my head
'Cause through my eyes, the days are monochrome
I wanna feel the light of a new day
But I'm so scared of it all...
I'm scared this utter joy ain't lasting forever
It's eating me alive
I never felt happy somehow
But I'm trying
I'm trying the best I can
I really wanna feel happy sometimes
Really wanna know where the lights are
But it only feels so wrong
It's eating me alive
I'm trying to survive my feelings
The joy is the ghost of a wanderer
Lost somewhere outside of here
Counting every hour