Lyrics Trial by Fire - Odette

When did I realise I was absolved
Of all the tensions between my eyes
At last, my gaze cleared
And I knew how right I was in fading you from my life
Obligated, habituated, how I hated
To be cooped up in my room, sleeping day to day with
You investing your time invading all my spaces
Telling me how my friends were lying scheming nasty fakes
You know I turned to you
Over a decade how I turned to you
Your eyes saw clearly mine were murky blue
And green and brown
Your lack of boundaries
Meant my days of peace and love were few
You were raised surrounded by antagonists
I know I would have been the same if I lived the life you lived
But you just have to understand that I am not like him
I'm not like her, I am my own, I'm not a goddamn kid
But some days a slight breeze or change of weather
Takes me back to the way things were
How I had suffered through a hot summer
40 degrees and I'm sweating
Lying down head spinning
Am I living?
Am I alive?
Am I breathing?
Can I survive?
It's a trial by fire
Oh, it's a trial by fire
Am I dreaming?
Am I awake?
Am I sleeping?
Oh, I'm so tired
It's a trial by fire
Oh, it's a trial by fire
You don't handle things with grace
You throw your hands up to the sky
And claim that life has failed you
And the reasoning behind your terrible disdain
I understand, but does that ease my pain?
No, I don't think so
You've been selfish and a narcissist
Put on my favourite dress
You'll make me take it off again
I can't pretend like I'm living in joy and bliss
And if I'm honest, I can't go on like this
You know I turned to you
Over a decade, I still turned to you
Your head was centered, mine was split in two
I was renowned for making sound, being too loud
Well, now I know it was not me, but you
Am I living?
Am I alive?
Am I breathing?
Can I survive?
It's a trial by fire
Oh, it's a trial by fire
Am I dreaming?
Am I awake?
Am I sleeping?
Oh, I'm so tired
It's a trial by fire
Oh, it's a trial by fire
Am I living?
Am I alive?
Am I breathing?
Can I survive?
It's a trial by fire
Oh, it's a trial by fire
Am I dreaming?
Am I awake?
Am I sleeping?
Oh, I'm so tired
It's a trial by fire
Oh, it's a trial by fire