Scars

I've got my scars
See, ain't nobody with you
I've got the heart
Tell me I got nothing to lose

I've been bridging the gap
Between the subconscious and learned to adapt
I'm shining a light on the dark from my past
Been digging up traumas that I have suppressed
I battle addiction
And I lie to myself for protection
With this deception, reality put me in check, and
It shattered my lens of perception
It's intense work
Learning that you're living like a stranger
The buried emotions Im'a surrender
It's helping with the breath when there's less dirt
Holding me down alone, and I'm scared
Looking at myself as a boy needing help
Emotionally, I was frozen and felt
No one was there to help when I'm going through hell
The result was anxiety
Controlling my life, not defining me
Programmed behaviors now in a survival state
Compartmentalizing memory side effects
Is overcompensating with impulse and addiction
Overstimulation controls your attention
ADHD has been rooted within it
I'm letting it go and removing the stitches

I've got my scars
See, ain't nobody with you
I've got the heart
They tell me I got nothing to lose
You won't, baby
You can try leaving this place right now
I'm on top of the town
I've got scars
I ain't got nothing to lose

I'm not new to the struggle
But the buildup has been too much to muscle
I went to heal in the Peruvian jungle
Sipping ayahuasca brew to uncover
The demons subconsciously hidden
I have been deep in the bottom of it and
As soon as my ego dissolved, I was feeling
Like a witness to me dying while living
The time was infinite anxiety's hitting
Biting my lip as I'm trying to end it
Petrified the way the ride was beginning
With no way for me to hide from the visions
I'm finally forgiving myself for not loving me
Unworthiness insecurities deep in me suddenly
Vanished the narrative that has
Been crippling to my confidence now it is crumbling
I was a mess
The medicine showed me that I was investing
All of my energy keeping the trauma suppressed
Then it brought back to when I was a kid
I was reliving abuse
Sexually violated and bruised
I let it all go just by living it through
Invisible scars, I've been healing the wounds

Oh now
Anxiety's finally letting me free
I see the road now
Shining a light on my shadow and helping me breathe
This heart is so loud
Nothing is out of my reach
I'm on my own now
And Silence is bringing me peace
Oh now
I'm no longer controlled by the scars that are hidden
I see the road now
And I'm finally finding forgiveness
This heart is so loud
I'm getting up out of this prison
I'm on my own now
And I'm winning

I've got my scars
See, ain't nobody with you
I've got the heart
They tell me I got nothing to lose
You won't, baby
You can try leaving this place right now
I'm on top of the town
I've got scars
I ain't got nothing to lose