Lyrics Any Old Iron - Peter Sellers
Any
old
iron?
Any
old
iron?
Any,
any,
any
old
iron?
You
look
neat.
Talk
about
a
treat!
You
look
so
dapper
from
your
napper
to
your
feet.
Dressed
in
style,
brand-new
tile,
And
your
father's
old
green
tie
on.
But
I
wouldn't
give
you
tuppence
for
your
old
watch
and
chain,
Old
iron,
old
iron."
Just
a
week
or
two
ago
my
dear
old
Uncle
Bill,
He
went
and
kicked
the
bucket
and
he
left
me
in
his
will.
So
I
went
around
the
road
to
see
my
Auntie
Jane.
She
said,
"your
Uncle
Bill
has
left
you
a
watch
and
chain."
So
I
put
it
on
right
across
my
derby
kell.
The
sun
was
shining
on
it
and
it
made
me
look
a
swell.
I
went
out,
strolling
round
about.
A
crowd
of
kiddies
followed
me
and
they
began
to
shout,
I
won't
forget
the
day
I
went
to
London
on
the
spree.
I
saw
the
mayor
of
London
there.
That's
who
I
went
to
see.
He
came
along
in
a
carriage
and
a
pair.
I
shouted,
"come
on,
boys!
All
throw
your
hats
up
in
the
air."
Just
then
the
mayor,
he
began
to
smile,
Pointed
to
my
face
and
said,
"Lor
Lummy,
what
a
dial!"
Started
Lord-a-mayoring,
and
then
to
my
dismay,
He
pointed
to
my
watch
and
chain
and
shouted
to
me,
"Hey,
Any
old
iron?
..."
I
shan't
forget
the
day
I
married
Miss
Elisa
Brown.
The
way
the
people
laughed
at
me,
it
made
me
feel
a
clown.
I
arrived
in
a
carriage
called
a
hack,
When
I
suddenly
discovered
I'd
my
trousers
front
to
back.
So
I
walked
down
the
aisle,
dressed
in
style,
The
vicar
took
a
look
at
me
and
then
began
to
smile.
The
organ
started
playing.
The
bells
began
to
ring.
The
people
started
laughing
and
the
choir
began
to
sing,
"Any
old
iron?
..."
Kicked
the
bucket
= died.
Derby
kell
= a
portly
chest/stomach.
A
swell
= a
well
off
gentleman
Dial
= Cockney
slang
for
face
1 Goodness Gracious Me!
2 Face To Face
3 All The Things You Are
4 Party Political Speech
5 Any Old Iron
6 So Little Time (Script Only)
7 Balham - Gateway To The South
8 Common Entrance
9 Bangers and Mash
10 The Critics
11 My Old Dutch
12 A Hard Day's Night
13 Wouldn't It Be Loverly
14 Peter Sellers Sings Rudolph Friml
15 Singin' In The Rain
16 The Whispering Giant
17 I Haven't Told Her, She Hasn't Told Me
18 We'll Let You Know
19 Fare Thee Well
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