Lyrics Nylon Smile - Portishead

I′d like to laugh at what you said, but I just can't find a smile
I wonder why I can′t, I struggle with myself
Hoping I might change a little
Hoping that I might be someone I wanna be

Looking out I want to know someone might care
Looking out I want a reason to be there

'Cause I don't know what I′ve done to deserve you
And I don′t know what I'd do without you

Looking out I want to know some way might clear
Looking out I want a reason to repair

′Cause I don't know what I′ve done to deserve you
And I don't know what I′ll do without you

I can't see nothing good, nothing is so bad
I never had the chance to explain exactly what I meant