Lyrics PHD - Rare Americans

Doctor, I feel like I was poisoned
I haven't shown any signs or warning
I'm sick of the pills
I'm fighting
I'm somewhere between a new life and dying

I don't know who I am
I don't know who I am
I don't know who I am
But I know who I want to be

Alright, I'm scared and angry
Five years in a blur
Misdiagnosed
Had nothing wrong with me to cure
I listened
I was just a kid
No voice for myself
I holed up and hid

Didn't have no one to talk to, only felt pain
Barely felt at all, I was so drained
Couldn't laugh or cry
No lows or highs
I was so numb, you could stick a needle in my eye

How do I explain what it was like?
The new doc said they had it wrong my whole life
This whole time believing it was from my dad
Docs write prescriptions quick as they can
They're getting spiffed with pharma gifts
I was a cog, a number on a list
I can't go back to black
(I can't go back to black)

Doctor, I feel like I was poisoned
I haven't shown any signs or warning
I'm sick of the pills
I'm fighting
I'm somewhere between a new life and dying

I don't know who I am
I don't know who I am

I stopped taking the pills
Scary at first
A wave of emotion in one sudden burst
No longer in my shell, feelings flooded my brain
Dropped 55 pounds, broke out of my cage
I could laugh again, I could cry again
I could feel love and I made some new friends
For the first time in many damn years
Had my life back and I was steering

Doctor, I'm clean of this poison
I have set myself free, I can breathe again
I'm a new version of me learning who I am
Trusting myself
I got a plan

Now I know who I am
Now I know who I am
Now I know who I am
I'm getting my PhD
Now I know who I am
Now I know who I am
Now I know who I am
I'm getting my PhD