Lyrics Xerox Xmas Letter - Ray Stevens

We got a Xerox Christmas letter
From the Sterling family
Seems that things in Palm Springs
Are going swimmingly

Their daughters both married doctors
Their son was Yale's Man of the Year
Chip's business broke all records
Buffy's a Red Cross volunteer

We've been on their Xerox letter list
For 20 years or more
It's been at least that long
Since the Sterlings lived next door

So this year my wife, Lurleen, said
As we were sweeping up the yard
"Let's us send a Xerox letter this year
Instead of a Christmas card!"

Howdy, y'all and Merry Christmas!

Well, we still live in the double-wide
But Bubba's added on
A bass-boat shed and a workshop
And new flamingos for the lawn

We took down the front yard tire swing
Now that Junior's in the pen
But it looks like a happy New Year
They moved him off death row again!

Xerox Christmas letters
Oh, nothing could be better
Than to hear from folks you hardly know
Bragging on all they have achieved

Xerox Christmas letters
Yeah, there's nothing we like better
We read them from the glow
Of our two-foot aluminum tree

Our youngest is at the halfway house
Once again in the family way
This time, the daddy lives beneath the bridge
On the old I-5 freeway

And this year, we all took a whirlwind tour
But we didn't get too far
It happened when a twister touched down
In our trailer park

Xerox Christmas letters
Nothing could be better
Than to hear from folks you hardly know
Bragging on all they have achieved

Xerox Christmas letters
Yeah, there's nothing we like better
We read them from the glow
Of our two-foot aluminum tree

We read them in the glow
Of our two-foot aluminum tree!