Blind

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Sam Kinison

I know a lot of you are looking at the sunglasses, you're going "
Hey Sam, you wouldn't be high by any chance, would ya?"
Nah, no, no I, I wear these glasses, folks, because I'm blind

It happened in a very unusual way, I normally don't
Open up about it, but you folks are different, so
The fact that you laughed in my face when I told you let me know
I fucked 'til I was blind

I didn't mean to, I thought it was a joke
I was with this girl, she said "Can we
Fuck again?" I said "Yes," we're going
"Wait a second, honey! I have fucked 'til I'm blind! Are you
Happy now, you dominating bitch? Oh yeah, great, you get to cum
I have to smell a dog's ass for the rest of my life! Oh, ahh!"

Yeah, alright, I guess it's time to
Tell you what I'm really doing, I'm uh
I'm going around the country, I'm trying to talk men
As many as I can, into not fucking women in the ass

Well, I can see I'm not gonna get a lot of support here, alright
This is gonna be one of the tough towns, huh, alright

Come on, guys, there's other ways to hurt 'em

It doesn't feel that good, we only do it
To see that look on their face, they go
"Oh, sorry honey, sorry, okay? I swear to God I slipped, I wouldn't
Do something like that, no, Jesus, what am I, an animal? I wouldn't
Do that. Are you okay, huh? It had nothing to do with you wrecking
The car last week, what are you saying? What do you mean I'm just
Trying to get back? What? I love you
Oh God, it happened again, shit"

I love women, I don't think you oughta be mean to 'em
I fuck, well you don't have any choice, what are you gonna
Do? It's either love women or suck a big dick, thanks, God
Thanks for the big menu down here, thanks a lot