Lyrics A Rush of Ecstasy - Solitary Experiments

I should have known it with the first indication
As a hint that it already has begun
To figure out that the first cut was the deepest
I should have known it right from the start
It′s getting worse and the pain has become stronger
At the first time still everything was fun
It ended up in a strange behaviour
It's just a calm before the storm
Suddenly my heart starts to bleed a rush of ecstasy
Silently sometimes I hurt myself
I should have known that the guilt leads to depression
Nobody knows but I feel insecure
Somehow it seems I was consumed by hatred
I should have known it but now it′s too late
One thousand words cannot describe the hunger
Inside my mind where everything went wrong
All of these scars remind me to my weakness
It's just the point of no return
Suddenly my heart starts to bleed a rush of ecstasy
Silently sometimes I hurt myself