Lyrics My Alligator and Me - Stearns Matthews

He could be my bestest friend
He could sleep with me at night
He would eat out of my hand
But he wouldn't ever bite
And if one of those older kids started a fight
He'd chase that kid up a tree
I would teach him little tricks
We would practice every day
And no matter when it was
He would always wanna play
If the cops needed somebody frightened away
We'd frighten them for free
My alligator and me
Then I would wash him with the hose
Careful 'round his nose
And I'd have to walk him nightly
Soon he'd be bigger than a bus
Folks would look at us
Cross the street and smile politely
I would tell him what I think
He would never ever tease
He'd be smart as Rin Tin Tin
And as strong as Hercules
He would sit by the table and eat all my peas
A trick nobody would see
One tiny little growl
And the grown-ups would behave
They would treat me like a person
Instead of like a slave
Just imagine the princesses
He'd help me save
And kingdoms we'd explore
That's what alligators are for
He'd sure impress the kids at camp
Wrestle like a champ
Swim as good as any whale can
He'd hit me baseballs with his tail
Run to fetch the mail
Sometimes even fetch the mailman
We would live on chocolate cake
And stay up 'til half past two
When you're ridin' on a gator
Parents don't talk back to you
And that cool stuff they never let little kids do
We'd do it fearlessly
My alligator
I'd love him so
"See you later"
And off we'd go
My alligator and me