Lyrics Airport Piano - Tim Minchin
                                                    I 
                                                wrote 
                                                this 
                                                song 
                                                on 
                                                an 
                                                airport 
                                                piano
 
                                    
                                
                                                    I 
                                                was 
                                                the 
                                                guy 
                                                disturbing 
                                                your 
                                                journey 
                                                from 
                                                security
 
                                    
                                
                                                To 
                                                gate 
                                                twenty-three 
                                                A
 
                                    
                                
                                                Maybe 
                                                you 
                                                noticed 
                                                me
 
                                    
                                
                                                    I 
                                                wrote 
                                                this 
                                                song 
                                                ′cause 
                                                    I 
                                                had 
                                                    a 
                                                spare 
                                                hour
 
                                    
                                
                                                    I 
                                                was 
                                                delayed 
                                                trying 
                                                to 
                                                get 
                                                back 
                                                to 
                                                my 
                                                babies 
                                                in 
                                                Sydney
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                    I 
                                                noticed 
                                                the 
                                                keys 
                                                so 
                                                I'm 
                                                writing 
                                                    a 
                                                song
 
                                    
                                
                                                (Singin′)
 
                                    
                                
                                                Women 
                                                in 
                                                SUV 
                                                Porsches 
                                                always 
                                                look 
                                                miserable
 
                                    
                                
                                                    I 
                                                don't 
                                                know 
                                                why 
                                                they're 
                                                so 
                                                sad 
                                                (don′t 
                                                know 
                                                why 
                                                they′re 
                                                so 
                                                sad)
 
                                    
                                
                                                Maybe 
                                                it's 
                                                the 
                                                calories 
                                                they 
                                                could′ve 
                                                had
 
                                    
                                
                                                Filling 
                                                them 
                                                up 
                                                with 
                                                regret
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                men 
                                                in 
                                                cafes 
                                                in 
                                                ski 
                                                resorts
 
                                    
                                
                                                Trying 
                                                to 
                                                connect 
                                                with 
                                                their 
                                                sons
 
                                    
                                
                                                Look 
                                                like 
                                                they 
                                                just 
                                                wanna 
                                                hit 
                                                'em
 
                                    
                                
                                                    I 
                                                mean 
                                                I′m 
                                                sure 
                                                that 
                                                they 
                                                dig 
                                                'em 
                                                underneath 
                                                all 
                                                the 
                                                gear
 
                                    
                                
                                                    A 
                                                young 
                                                man 
                                                in 
                                                Air 
                                                Jordans
 
                                    
                                
                                                Just 
                                                left 
                                                me 
                                                five 
                                                dollars 
                                                on 
                                                the 
                                                piano
 
                                    
                                
                                                What 
                                                you 
                                                know
 
                                    
                                
                                                    I 
                                                always 
                                                hated 
                                                those 
                                                airport 
                                                pianos
 
                                    
                                
                                                Should 
                                                be 
                                                    a 
                                                law 
                                                saying 
                                                playing 
                                                the 
                                                theme 
                                                from 
                                                Beverly 
                                                Hills 
                                                Cop
 
                                    
                                
                                                Will 
                                                get 
                                                one 
                                                of 
                                                your 
                                                hands 
                                                chopped 
                                                off
 
                                    
                                
                                                    I 
                                                wrote 
                                                this 
                                                song 
                                                on 
                                                an 
                                                airport 
                                                piano
 
                                    
                                
                                                I′m 
                                                out 
                                                of 
                                                time 
                                                    I 
                                                just 
                                                need 
                                                one 
                                                more 
                                                little 
                                                rhyme
 
                                    
                                
                                                    I 
                                                gotta 
                                                board 
                                                that 
                                                plane
 
                                    
                                
                                                They're 
                                                calling 
                                                my 
                                                name
 
                                    
                                
                                                So 
                                                I'm 
                                                writing 
                                                    a 
                                                song
 
                                    
                                
                                                (Singin′)
 
                                    
                                
                                                Women 
                                                in 
                                                SUV 
                                                Porsches 
                                                always 
                                                look 
                                                miserable
 
                                    
                                
                                                Or 
                                                is 
                                                it 
                                                only 
                                                the 
                                                Botox 
                                                (is 
                                                it 
                                                only 
                                                the 
                                                botox?)
 
                                    
                                
                                                They 
                                                stick 
                                                in 
                                                their 
                                                face 
                                                to 
                                                keep 
                                                their 
                                                looks 
                                                from 
                                                slipping
 
                                    
                                
                                                They′re 
                                                kicking 
                                                the 
                                                can 
                                                down 
                                                the 
                                                road
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                men 
                                                in 
                                                mansions 
                                                on 
                                                cul-de-sacs
 
                                    
                                
                                                Having 
                                                their 
                                                midlife 
                                                affairs
 
                                    
                                
                                                With 
                                                the 
                                                wife 
                                                of 
                                                    a 
                                                banker 
                                                (with 
                                                the 
                                                wife 
                                                of 
                                                    a 
                                                banker)
 
                                    
                                
                                                While 
                                                the 
                                                banker 
                                                is 
                                                banging 
                                                Bianca
 
                                    
                                
                                                But 
                                                sadly 
                                                they're 
                                                still 
                                                gonna 
                                                die
 
                                    
                                
                                                    A 
                                                guy 
                                                buying 
                                                Subway
 
                                    
                                
                                                Anxiously 
                                                digs 
                                                through 
                                                his 
                                                cabin 
                                                bag
 
                                    
                                
                                                Smiles 
                                                when 
                                                his 
                                                wallet 
                                                is 
                                                found
 
                                    
                                
                                                Pays 
                                                for 
                                                his 
                                                six-inch
 
                                    
                                
                                                Then 
                                                forgets 
                                                that 
                                                his 
                                                bag 
                                                is 
                                                unzipped
 
                                    
                                
                                                So 
                                                the 
                                                contents 
                                                of 
                                                it
 
                                    
                                
                                                Is 
                                                disgorged
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                    a 
                                                jar 
                                                of 
                                                Viagra 
                                                spills 
                                                onto 
                                                the 
                                                ground
 
                                    
                                
                                                (So 
                                                it 
                                                goes)
 
                                    
                                
                                                Women 
                                                in 
                                                SUV 
                                                Porsches 
                                                always 
                                                look 
                                                miserable
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                    I 
                                                know 
                                                why 
                                                they′re 
                                                so 
                                                sad
 
                                    
                                
                                                They 
                                                thought 
                                                they'd 
                                                be 
                                                happier 
                                                than 
                                                they 
                                                were 
                                                in 
                                                their 
                                                Fords
 
                                    
                                
                                                But 
                                                now 
                                                they′re 
                                                bored 
                                                of 
                                                their 
                                                Porsches
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                they're 
                                                looking 
                                                for 
                                                more
 
                                    
                                
                                                They′re 
                                                out 
                                                there 
                                                shopping 
                                                for 
                                                more
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                their 
                                                husband's 
                                                so 
                                                fat 
                                                in 
                                                his 
                                                new 
                                                Lycra 
                                                shorts
 
                                    
                                
                                                Trying 
                                                to 
                                                pedal 
                                                his 
                                                way 
                                                back 
                                                to 
                                                ninety-four
 
                                    
                                
                                                Trying 
                                                to 
                                                wind 
                                                back 
                                                the 
                                                clock 
                                                to 
                                                before
 
                                    
                                
                                                To 
                                                before 
                                                they 
                                                had 
                                                this 
                                                boat 
                                                and 
                                                this 
                                                house
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                this 
                                                buy-to-let 
                                                mortgage
 
                                    
                                
                                                To 
                                                before 
                                                they 
                                                had 
                                                bought 
                                                all 
                                                the 
                                                things 
                                                that 
                                                they 
                                                thought
 
                                    
                                
                                                Would 
                                                fill 
                                                up 
                                                the 
                                                hole 
                                                but 
                                                the 
                                                goal 
                                                keeps 
                                                receding
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                his 
                                                hair 
                                                is 
                                                receding 
                                                there's 
                                                this 
                                                book 
                                                he′s 
                                                been 
                                                reading 
                                                for
 
                                    
                                
                                                Six 
                                                months 
                                                but 
                                                the 
                                                words 
                                                just 
                                                swim 
                                                round 
                                                the 
                                                pages
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                God 
                                                it′s 
                                                been 
                                                ages 
                                                since 
                                                they 
                                                made 
                                                love
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                the 
                                                kids 
                                                are 
                                                on 
                                                drugs
 
                                    
                                
                                                With 
                                                their 
                                                ADHD 
                                                and 
                                                their 
                                                anxiety
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                their 
                                                music 
                                                is 
                                                shit
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                the 
                                                time 
                                                just 
                                                keeps 
                                                slipping 
                                                away
 
                                    
                                
                                                But 
                                                I'm 
                                                sitting 
                                                here 
                                                playing 
                                                and 
                                                singing
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                they 
                                                are 
                                                calling 
                                                my 
                                                name
 
                                    
                                
                                                ′Cause 
                                                your 
                                                flight's 
                                                gotta 
                                                go 
                                                when 
                                                your 
                                                flight′s 
                                                gotta 
                                                go
 
                                    
                                
                                                And 
                                                    I 
                                                wrote 
                                                this 
                                                song 
                                                on 
                                                an 
                                                airport 
                                                piano
 
                                    
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