Lyrics Boyfriend Points - Tom Smith
The
young
man
climbed
the
mountain
Where
the
old
man
waited
for
him.
The
young
man's
face
was
hopeful,
The
old
man's
face
was
grim.
The
young
man
said,
"I've
come
here
To
learn
the
secrets
of
life,
Can
you
help
me
find
destiny,
Can
you
help
me
get
a
wife?"
The
old
man
looked
at
him
closely,
Didn't
make
a
move
or
a
sound,
He
was
certain
he
could
take
the
kid
And
the
body
would
never
be
found.
But,
no,
he
was
a
guru,
Of
wisdom,
he
was
a
font,
And
he
said,
"It's
just
what
you
deserve,
I'll
tell
you
what
you
want.
Everything
you've
ever
feared
of
women
is
true
Everything
you
ever
think
or
say
or
do
Is
memorized
and
analyzed
and
scrutinized
so
it's
unwise
To
give
them
ammunition
to
use
on
you.
Go
for
boyfriend
points,
that's
the
key
Boyfriend
points,
that's
what
she'll
see
Boyfriend
points,
with
every
action
Boyfriend
points,
a
big
distraction
Offer
your
umbrella,
pull
her
chair
out,
hold
the
door,
You
need
boyfriend
points,
if
you
want
to
score.
Flowers
get
you
fifteen,
candy
gets
you
ten,
An
upright
vacuum,
meet
a
new
girl,
start
again.
Don't
forget
her
birthday,
Or
even
worse,
don't
ever
look
inside
her
purse
What's
in
there
is
not
for
the
eyes
of
men.
Go
for
boyfriend
points,
don't
kill
those
squirrels,
Boyfriend
points,
quote
Gilmore
Girls,
Boyfriend
points,
emote
and
feel,
Boyfriend
points,
COOK
A
MEAL!?
Romance
is
a
contest,
and
romance
is
the
prize,
You
need
boyfriend
points
to
beat
the
other
guys.
Don't
leave
her
Shakespeare
in
the
Rain
or
use
her
ferret
to
clean
the
drain,
Don't
say
that
you're
a
Browncoat
when
you're
not.
Agree
that
Oprah
Winfrey's
nice,
Watch
Brokeback
Mountain
with
her
twice,
And
nod
when
she
says
Daniel
Radcliffe's
hot
Don't
put
Lunchables
in
her
CD-ROM
or
list
her
mom
on
MILF
dot
com,
Don't
make
fun
of
her
Hello
Kitty
stuff,
And
there's
one
sure
way
to
murder
Cupid,
tell
her,
'Honey,
That's
So
Stupid'
--
If
you
do
that,
you
can't
run
fast
enough."
The
young
man
thanked
the
old
man
and
went
back
to
town,
Followed
his
advice
and
learned
something
more
profound:
Treating
women
like
they
are
a
prize
With
lame-ass
lines
and
dumb-ass
lies
Means
someone
DIES,
and
his
body
was
never
found.
Go
for
boyfriend
points
if
you
got
no
clue,
Boyfriend
points
will
come
back
at
you,
Boyfriend
points,
tryin'
to
be
so
cool,
Boyfriend
points,
when
you
kiss
you
drool,
If
the
battle
of
the
sexes
has
become
an
all-out
war,
Boyfriend
points
ain't
gonna
help
you
score.
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