Lyrics National Divorce - TurtleFrogMan

Thank you dear for sitting down with me
Across our kitchen table have I sat you
There are places you would rather be
But I wanted to talk with you not talk at you

245 years we've been wed now
We've had some fights, we had a civil war
But our love for one another is just dead now
And we can't go on like this anymore

It's time we got a National Divorce
We're not capable of rational discourse
Let's divide our assets peaceably
Negotiate joint custody
And avoid the use of military force

I'm sorry its been years since we both spoke
You've been tough to understand since you got woke
You can have New York and California
They're both nice but I should warn ya
You can't give them back if they go broke

I'm hoping you'll embrace negotiation
Let's be civil and accept the path we're on
We've no hope for reconciliation
Our 50 children all grown up and gone

You wear a nose ring and I wears boots and flannels
We're not compatible, we should have seen the signs
You can have the wind mills and solar panels
I'll take all those horrible coal mines

It's time we got a National Divorce
We're not capable of rational discourse
Let's divide our assets peaceably
Negotiate joint custody
And avoid the use of military force

I'm sorry its been years since we both spoke
You've been tough to understand since you got woke
You can have New York and California
They're both nice but I should warn ya
You can't give them back if they go broke

Now I know I'm just blue collar and when we married you were slumming
You're book smart, Ivy League degreed with a longing for purposes higher
I built our houses and railroads, fought our wars and fixed our plumbing
While you buried us in debt to build your socialist empire

With your Ivy League training a counter proposal is forming
But just think: you could end racism after today
Just think, now you can finally beat global warming
And I won't be around to get in your way

Now listen, I want this agreement to be worth your while
I'll even throw in Washington DC
We can go halvsies on all of the nuclear stockpile
But Both Florida and Texas staying with me

It's time we got a National Divorce
We're not capable of rational discourse
Let's divide our assets peaceably
Negotiate joint custody
And avoid the use of military force

I'm sorry its been years since we both spoke
You've been tough to understand since you got woke
You can have New York and California
They're both nice but I should warn ya
You can't give them back if they go broke