Lyrics [Un]Alive - Xiii

I choose to stay inside you
I never thought this isolation could feel so cold
I would never lie to you
I'm just so sick of the cycle
God it's getting old

I choose abuse not to lose you
Cut me a heart all across my nerves
Beat me down and make me bleed
Fuck me till I lose my need
Whatever I get's more than I deserve

Everything used to be so harmless
Now everybody tries to be so heartless
What in the world did I do to deserve
To only feel alive when I'm fucked and hurt

I'm not alive
I'll never be alright
I'm writhing from the inside
No lie
This is no kind of life
Cross my heart and hope I'll die

I choose to feed your smile
I guess that I'm just better off here as your toy
So go ahead and play
As I clean this mess you made
Play in the soil of my stolen joy

Everything used to be so harmless
Now everybody tries to be so heartless
What in the world did I do to deserve
To only feel the pain of the scars that burn

Everything used to be so harmless
Now everybody tries to be so heartless
What in the world did I do to deserve
To only feel alive when I'm fucked and hurt

I'm not alive
I'll never be alright
I'm writhing from the inside
No lie
This is no kind of life
Cross my heart and hope I'll die

I choose to feed your smile
I guess that I'm just better off here as your toy
So go ahead and play
As I clean this mess you made
Play in the soil of my stolen joy

Everything used to be so harmless
Now everybody tries to be so heartless
What in the world did I do to deserve
To only feel the pain of the scars that burn

I'm not alive
I'll never be alright
I'm writhing from the inside
No lie
This is no kind of life
Cross my heart and hope I'll remain

Fuck all this hatred and the bullshit that it comes with
Fuck this anger that controls me from within

I said fuck this place

I'm not alive
I won't be alright

Cuz I'm not alive
And no, it's not alright
(It never was alright)
I'm dying on the inside
No lie
This is no kind of life
Cross my heart and hope I'll die

"I'm just living a lie"