Lyrics Figures - Yung Senju

Why wasn't you in my life
To teach me how to treat women, maybe my relationships would go right
Maybe I'd go outside, talk to new people, stead of just write
Maybe I wouldn't thought of all those ideas on that one
(night)
But no I don't blame
And no I don't feel any shame
Well maybe a little when niggas would joke bout it, like issa game
Or when I was driving through lanes
At three morning just screaming to let out the pain
Or hoping the car would just bang on the side of the tree
So that someone would cry out my name
In hindsight that shit was lame, but fuck it
Stepdad came in my life, man that's the shit I always wanted
And everything happens for a reason, that's why I still love him
But if I said I didn't hate back when I was 12, nigga I'd be frontin
Especially at age13, when he threw out my momma luggage
And that's when I learned to appreciate everything until the second it's over
First time in my life I saw my momma cry in front of me until I got a lil older
I could tell she wasn't doin well
But just for me she worked on keeping up her composure
That's why I would keep it in, didn't cry for 6 years, till last October

I got all these damn figures but a father figure
I got all these dam figures round me
Got my lip around the blunt and fingers round the liquor
Wanna feel just like I'm fucking drowning
I got all these damn figures but a father figure
I got all these dam figures round me
I been praying to the trigger take my life lil nigga
But my finger wouldn't take it from me

Early 2010's riding in my uncle whip in the summer
Don't remember shit too will, if he had a jeep or hummer
Cousin Xave to my left side, he was really like an older brother
Even though the nigga younger, we was like dumb and dumber
Talking bout shit that ain't even matter
Felt they love when they talked, only time I didn't feel like a bastard
Had to piss the whole damn trip, uncle said you better hold your blatter
Hour later we was out the whip, preying for a bathroom like a pastor
Day later hit the ocean
Me and Xave, we was joking
Said the hardest nigga finna swim the farthest nigga, that's the notion
So we swam past the barrier,
People spotted us and told my uncle there cause for commotion
Headed back to the sand, but
5 minutes later I wasn't making a single ounce of a motion
Had me screaming like a bitch nigga,
Flailing while my head under water, got me feeling like a quotient
Remember that shit vaguely
Uncle Calvin swam in the tides to bring me back to safety
I'll remember till I'm eighty,
Ten years later wish coulda saved him, like he saved me
I been thinking bout it lately
If I checked in he would tell me bout it maybe
Member this moment daily
Will never let another figure in my life pass gravely

I got all these damn figures but a father figure
I got all these dam figures round me
Got my lip around the blunt and fingers round the liquor
Wanna feel just like I'm fucking drowning
I got all these damn figures but a father figure
I got all these dam figures round me
I been praying to the trigger take my life lil nigga
But my finger wouldn't take it from me