Lyrics monday - guardin

Yeah, we cruise through life with our grip held tight, if only
Time could tell 'cause our fears just might collide with
Dreams we had, all these paths offline, If I could
Make more sense of the things I like, regardless
I create what I feel inside
This therapeutic place with my tears all dried, it's blissful
Seasons change and the time flies by, I always
Feel so strained and I don't know why, be honest
How many motherfuckers do what you do?
You got everything you want, but ain't nobody got you
They're so amazed by the constant drops, the plays and the views
But I'm deranged, fucking insane, spittin' my pain in the booth
It's a mad fucking world, we chasin' pennies and truth
Can you believe I fuckin' made it? Dodged a box and a suit
I'm just a boy from outer space who ain't got nothing to lose
So I'ma chase away the pain with forty ounces of booze

Cracks in every wall
But they ain't ever see me fall
They ain't ever see me fall, oh, oh, oh
Shootin' like a star
Yeah, your planet ain't that far
You'll be home by Monday
You'll be home by Monday

Check it
I'll burn a blunt and bridge the gap of what is left
I'm upset 'cause half my childhood was theft
It's apparent that my scars all tell a story east to west
But I can't tell it 'cause I'm occupied by beds, I overslept
In a second I feel fine, but in a minute, I'm depressed
All these voices in my head been telling me what to do next
Is there any fucking answers underneath the skin I'm dressed in?
I always think about it 'til I say "Nah!" and forget
There's evil locked inside me, but I don't know where it went
So I practice tying in knots in case the thoughts inside my head
Leave me manic, watch me panic 'bout the past until I'm dead
All because a fucking loser touched my dick when I was ten
Yeah, they say men can't be raped, but I'm a victim in the end
Let it shake up my whole world until the day that I ascend
It's a blessing and a curse but what's worse is most men
Do not open up about it 'til they start to comprehend
Fuck

Cracks in every wall
But they ain't ever see me fall
They ain't ever see me fall, oh, oh, oh
Shootin' like a star
Yeah, your planet ain't that far
You'll be home by Monday
You'll be home by Monday

Yeah, we're thrown in the ocean
Deep end, swimmin' with a pocket full of potions
Vices to commend the fallen ones that lost they focus
I'm a toy soldier, moving weight in slow motion, oh shit (Oh shit)
I'm losin' focus
How the fuck you fix it with a bottle and some roaches?
You ain't been yourself and it's been noted by the hopeless
They look up to you and you've been stuck in a hypnosis, -nosis
No, sis, I ain't drunk, that's bullshit
I've been chasing dreams and getting money on the road, shit
I cut off my friends by being anxious on some ghost shit
I don't like myself and I don't even think I'll post this
Fuck another track about myself, you probably know this
I can hardly breathe, but you're too dense to even notice
Is it ADD or empathy of all I know?
This year has been the worse for me, but I don't like to boast shit, so

Cracks in every wall
But they ain't ever see me fall
They ain't ever see me fall, oh, oh, oh
Shootin' like a star
Yeah, your planet ain't that far
You'll be home by Monday
You'll be home by Monday