Lyrics And I Die - ocarth

Mom, I'm sorry I'm not
What you wanted from me
Who you want me to be
And dad
I promise I'll stay
Far from what you showed to me
How a real man should be

Pushed against the pillars I built
And blamed everyone else for
Bore through myself in the mirror
On the asphalt, king consort
Watch me spin across the room
Shedding the colors meant for you
Tears streaming down my face
Out of happiness for follow-through

No, I don't know what I wanted
But I know it can't be this
Things crawling out of my mouth
And every orifice
If I lose what left I have
Who am I meant to be?
I'd give my life up for anyone
Just to know they'd think of me

(And every day I die)
Thinking 'bout the way you were
And the way you weren't here
(And everything in the sky)
Burns a hole in my insides
Everything you liked, oh

And how can I really think it's normal
While my heart beats in three/four
Told by everything to stay common
Indirectly, but still for sure
Just want a home to go back to
To stay safe and to keep me warm
I wasn't built for all of this
Made to live how I don't want

No, I don't know what I wanted
But I know it can't be this
Things crawling out of my mouth
And every orifice
If I lose what left I have
Who am I meant to be?
I'd give my life up for anyone
Just to know they'd think of me

Running through a meadow
Doves and butterflies around me
And the only way I can enjoy it
Is imagining you're me

(And every day I die)
Thinking 'bout the way you were
And the way you weren't here
(And everything in the sky)
Burns a hole in my insides
Everything you liked, oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh

I change myself
And I die