Turkey Leg Woman

This is a protest song
And what I protest against is skinny women
Everybody think a skinny woman is so pretty
But to me all I can think about is, "Honey
Please, tomorrow morning, get you a pork chop"

I like a big woman
I like a woman with size
You see, I'm not a big man
So when I make love, I like to get lost in there
My friends say, "Where's Doug?"
They say, "He lost"
I say, "Yeah"

I don't want no bird-legged woman
With the meat all stripped and gone
I don't want no bird-legged woman
With the meat all stripped and gone
Give me turkey-legged woman
With the meat dripping off the bone

I don't want no bird-legged woman
Make me nervous when it come to pushing
I don't want no bird-legged woman
It make me nervous when it come to pushing
Give me turkey-legged
The one with the built-in cushion

I don't want no bird-legged woman
There ain't enough meat for a man to chew
Don't want no bird-legged woman
There ain't enough meat for a man to chew
Give me turkey-legged woman
I like my meat and gravy too, baby

I don't want no bird-legged woman
With the meat all stripped and gone
I don't want no bird-legged woman
With the meat all stripped and gone
Give me turkey-legged woman
With the meat dripping off the bone

If there's a turkey-legged woman in here tonight
Would you take me home?
Would you take me home?
You got a boyfriend? Oh, well don't worry, sugar
When he get back, I'll be gone

Excuse me
That's what I'm talking about, man
Baby, I got gravy for you
I know when you leave, don't you know that?