Paroles et traduction Fana feat. 황보령 - Hwang Boryung - 화약고 (The Arsenal)

화약고 (The Arsenal)

아마도 난 바본가 봐.
또 화나고 아파도 참아버리고 말았거든.
하마터면 화난 표정이 나타날 것 같아
얼굴을 감싸고 바깥으로 박차고 나갔어.
한참 동안 한치 앞도 보이지 않았어.
갑작스럽게 참았던 화가 터져 나와서.
눈앞은 하얗고, 꽉 찬 머릿속은 당장 폭발할 것만 같은 화약고.
힘이 쫙 빠져나간 몸을 잡아끌어 방향도 없이 마냥 걷다
가까스로 집에 도착하면
다시 아까 전 약간 접어놨던 악감정들이 화산처럼 끌어올라.
난 결국 밤잠 설쳐.
참 바보 같아.
거울에 비친 빨간 얼굴.
산산조각나버린 내 마음 파편을 또
침묵의 상자 속으로 싹 다 주워 담아, 오늘도.
보이지 않는 소중한 것들.
상처받은 너의 마음.
아마도 난 바본가 봐.
또 화나고 아파도 참아버리고 말았거든.
남과 멀어질까봐서 살살거리기 바빴어.
진심은 죄다 가면 낯짝 속에다 감춰.
달갑잖거나 막상 별로 할 말 없던 사람과도
만나면 반가운 척 화답하고 인살 나눠.
영양가도 없는 값싼 농담 맞받곤
내 얄팍한 모습에 깜짝 놀라 나도.
감당 못할 약속, 까다로운 부탁받곤
딱 잘라 거절 하나 못해 왕창 도맡아 꼭.
닦아온 이미지 다 까먹을 까봐
못내 귀찮아도 싫단 말없이 따랐고.
사랑도, 만남도 항상 손해만 봤던 나란 놈.
하지만 달아나고 싶다가도
막상 혼자 남겨져버리면 답답하고 불안한 걸.
고개 들어.
시원한 바람, 너의 눈물 지울 수 있게.
아마도 난 바본가 봐.
또 화나고 아파도 참아버리고 말았거든.
장난 섞인 말과 조롱으로 날 차고 망가뜨려,
바닥으로 처박아 욕하고 짓밟아도,
알량하고 잘난 자존심 하나로 강한 척한다고 잠자코 참아.
그러다 간혹 악 받쳐 심한 말로 닦달하곤
막상 또 남 맘 속상할까 걱정한 바보.
살갗으로 난 상처와 파란 멍은 반창고 한 장으로 가라앉고 사라져.
하지만 맘속에 난 상천 과거란 흉으로 남아서 밤낮으로 날 망쳐.
난 상념의 바다 속에 가라앉고만 파손된 난파선.
단 한 번만 날 좀 가만둬.
아냐, 더 날 꽉 끌어 안아줘.
기억해 봐.
따듯한 날들.
자유로운 너를 찾아서.
La-la-la-la...
자유로운 너를 찾아서.

The Arsenal

Maybe I'm an idiot.
I got angry and hurt but I just swallowed it down again.
I covered my face because I thought my angry expression would show
And ran outside without looking back.
I couldn't see an inch in front of me for a long time.
The anger I had been holding in suddenly burst out.
My vision is white, and my pounding head feels like it's going to explode.
My strength drained away and I just walked without direction
I finally made it home
And the ill feelings I had been suppressing surged up like a volcano.
I end up losing sleep.
What an idiot.
A red face in the mirror.
And once again I took the broken shards of my heart
And stuffed them all into a silent box.
Unseen and precious things.
Your wounded heart.
Maybe I'm an idiot.
I got angry and hurt but I just swallowed it down again.
I was too busy tip-toeing around to avoid drifting away from others.
I hid my true feelings behind a mask of indifference.
I would meet with someone I don't really like or have much to say to
And I would act happy and exchange greetings.
I would trade meaningless and cheap jokes
And I would be surprised at how shallow I was.
I would be asked to make impossible promises, or to do difficult favors
And I couldn't bring myself to refuse, so I did everything.
I was afraid that I would ruin my image
So I followed orders without complaint, no matter how annoying they were.
I'm the kind of person who always ended up getting the short end of the stick in love and friendship.
But even though I wanted to run away
I would feel stifled and anxious if I was ever left alone.
Look up.
A cool breeze can dry your tears.
Maybe I'm an idiot.
I got angry and hurt but I just swallowed it down again.
You would hit me and hurt me with your playful words and mockery
You would knock me to the ground, insult me and trample on me
And I would pretend to be strong because of my ridiculous and fragile pride.
Sometimes I would get really angry and lash out with harsh words
But I would always end up worrying that I had hurt your feelings.
The physical wounds and bruises would heal and disappear with a bandage.
But the wounds in my heart would remain like scars, tormenting me day and night.
I'm a broken wreck, sinking in a sea of memories.
Just leave me alone for once.
No, hold me tight.
Remember.
The warm days.
Searching for the free you.
La-la-la-la...
Searching for the free you.