Control

This is the story of a man
That lived without worry or regret
And found his happily ever after
But sentenced to death
Till then I'll be a ghost
In all them stories that they told
And what's left of my hope
Can't save my life
Surrounded by a pack of thieves
Now all I drink is shattered dreams
I pray one day
(yuh)
I open up my eyes
I've been feeling so anxious
Maybe it's mistakes I made
To find peace in my day by day
Just give me a good moment
While I check
It could turn it to shit
Just like this it could fade to gray
The worst part is
When they tell me to calm down
It's all in my head
Well, no shit
I ain't think of that, maybe I should
I just really need a minute
Try to catch my breath and be calm
Find peace and I'll be good
But I won't
Cause I know my faults
And know my thoughts
I like to climb up
And know I fought
I know I thought
When the phone won't pick up
If they know I called
And I don't blame you
(not at all)
There are times
I don't want to leave the house
Or see people or have conversations
On the phone
So me either
I'd rather write a song
Self loathing and pissed off
But end up getting lost
I'm no longer in control
I'm too gone
(I'm too gone)
There's no redemption left for me
To fuel my calm
And I already know
That you won't
(That you won't)
Understand why I did this
Cause I did you wrong
Till then I'll be a ghost
In all the stories that they told
And what's left of my hope
Can't save my life
And I already know
Surrounded by a pack of thieves
Now all I drink is shattered dreams
I pray one day
I'll open up my eyes
I just really need to breath tho
I deep down need a dial tone, talk
Wish life had a cheat code, why
Sad part it is my own fault
Another time
Trying to change my past
Mama told me that the pain won't last
I've been living in this prison mentally
That I done built
And can't reach a man
On the other side of the glass
I'd rather cut my phone off
And be by myself
And rather bury everything
And don't cry for help
And when I'm up for parole
Fortify myself
I found peace inside my hell
Think I found solitude in your judgment
Mood aint budgin
If it did then I can't tell
I'm so stubborn
Knowing that I can't fail
I can't change
I'm no longer in control
I'm too gone
(I'm too gone)
There's no redemption left for me
To fuel my calm
And I already know
That you won't understand
Why I did this
Cause I did you wrong
Till then I'll be a ghost
In all them stories that they told
And what's left of my hope
Can't save my life
And I already know
Surrounded by a pack of thieves
Now all I drink is shattered dreams
I pray one day
I'll open up my eyes
My prescriptions been running low
I can feel it inside and I know
I can read the room
Think I'm gonna go
I think I need to catch my breath
Think I need to get it under control
I think I need a little bit of just me time
Maybe that's the problem
I'm just caught up in my head
In the meantime
I know that
I could think about something else
But I rewind
To the same bullshit
What's up, man?
How you been, man? Yeah