Hello, Misery

Nuh nuh nuh nah nah nuh nuh nah nuh
Yo what
Oh fuck
Okay
We're recording? Okay okay okay
Um, what's up guys
My name is JayteKz
Uhhh, I make music
I'm fucking emotional, and
Just listen to some of my story, fuck it

I been thinking lately
What if I ain't really meant for this
I know this path I'm on is filled with greed and treacherous
A pessimist I'm not, but I just been through so much shit
It's hard to heal when I been damaged since I was a kid
But you don't understand my trials or my tribulations
To be fair you never been within my situations
I ain't saying I got it worse but it fucked me up
So many scars I've been calling God to touch me up
Yeah
And honestly I haven't prayed lately
Haven't slept at all and I just haven't ate lately
I been drinking too, just to find a better mood
A couple brews always keeps my heart from feeling bruised
Haha, get it, or was that too corny
I digress, let me get right back into my story
A year and six months I was in sobriety
I tried to be the very best version I could be
But I guess my feelings finally caught up to me
Cause now I'm sitting here just buzzing like a bumblebee
I know they're judging me and probably think I'm weak minded
But you ain't here while I'm hurting on the brink of dying
Yeah I know there's probably no excuse
But my present and my past still haven't made a truce
I had a poisoned youth stemmed from my poisoned roots
So when I blossomed I just had to face my poisoned truth
That I lost my innocence way too early on
Now that I'm grown up I realize the burden's strong
I've been searching long and hard for a sense of purpose
I've been searching deep within way beyond the surface
But what I find is always quite disturbing
I see my life and death in the process of converging
They're conversing with each other getting well acquainted
It's no wonder why I feel my soul is often tainted
Or maybe I'm just being dramatic
Or maybe things I've been through have truly been traumatic
I panic when I think about the things I have no answers to
So many questions and nobody seems to have a clue
And I don't know who I can trust no more
I try to open up and everybody shuts the door
The more I try to love, the more I end up feeling worthless
I wish reciprocity was something we could purchase
But people often take advantage
That's why I feel so numb and my compassion slowly vanished
I haven't been myself since um, I don't know when
Now my heart is cold and it's slowly getting frozen'
I soak in all my tears when I sit alone at home
I let out all my fears and thoughts with these open poems
A broken home that's exactly what my heart is
A broken soul that's been camping in the darkness
Yeah
And if I never see the light again
I hope you all can still see the burning light within
The fight within has been coming to a subtle end
And when it's over I just hope that all my troubles end
Yeah
I have no clue what the future holds
But if tomorrow never comes know that you've been told
All about my pain, sorrows and my misery
I told my story I just wish that you were listening