A Fine Romance

A fine romance, my friend, this is a fine romance
With no kisses, we should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
But she's as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes
A fine romance, she won't nestle
A fine romance, she won't even wrestle
I might as well play bridge with my old maid aunts
I haven't got a chance
This is a fine romance

A fine romance with no pinches
A fine romance with no clinches
She's calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean
Now at least they flap their fins to express emotion
A fine romance with no insults
With no quarrels, it's all morals
You never muss the crease in my blue serge pants
All you want to do is dance

Oh, what a romance, yes
A fine, fine romance, my good woman
My strong ace in the wood
Lady, there's lots more female fish swimming in the sea
And one likes me, yeah

This is a fine romance