Aunty

Aunty lacks the social graces
She pulls the most peculiar faces,
In the most public of places
She really is a scream.

Her voice is lound, her manners too,
Her dresses green and her jokes quite blue
But you should see her dance the Hoochie Coo,
The Lindy or the Frog.

Everyone says Aunty's thrifty
But they don't know her hidden gifts she
Seldom pays but goes "shoplifty",
She's mastered slight of hand.

She favours all the better stores,
Shoplifting from floor to floor,
And always one step from the law.

Her friends are bores or frightful smarties,
They're really not the type for Aunty,
Still, she gives the most outrageous parties
And everybody comes.

A nuisance everywhere she goes,
An embarrassment to those she knows
But I know where her money goes
She's left it all to me.