Jealousy

Uh

2017, I was kicking it in Brooklyn
Sleeping in a church pew, my earbuds tryna hook in
With Eminem on shuffle, liked a couple of tracks
And, now I'm tryna rap and make a couple of stacks

I'm really tired of being broke
I'm tired of being alone
I just wanna buy a home, not with my brother in a dome room
I don't need an education if I'm chasing dreams
I'm chasing people up the stairway to heaven watching them bleed

This jealousy is getting bad, I think I need to leave
Was at my homies crib because he got a bigger house than me
I know that ain't important but I'm getting better sleep on his couch than at my house where I be having bad dreams
I guess that's just the consequences of an STD because your bed will never feel the same when guilt is in the sheets
Man, I ain't been this celibate since 2018 when I was flirting with this outcast who listened to me sing

I wrote my first song with her, I hope that she remembers
We ain't talked since that December cause' I was going through it
I always overdo it when I'm talking bout' my health because I pair it up with wealth tryna disguise the pain I've dealt

Don't nobody understand, I don't expect them to
I don't want an audience for all that I've been through
I wear it on my sleeve because I'm tired of tryna hide the things I've seen that actually happened in front of me

Four weeks ago I was in a hospital bed
I still got stitches in my head from where they opened up my ear
And, I can barely hear but I'm still gonna appear on these tracks cause' it's the only thing that makes my future clear