Retired

We're spending all our money
And our kids don't think it's funny
Retired
Bought a Winnebago
Retired
Going where we wanna go
Retired
To where it's never ten below
It's a discount world for me
Since I joined AARP
Retired
Walking at the mall
All my friends
Are either dead or going bald
And me
My doctor's always on call
I was a corporate leader
Now I'm a Wal-Mart greeter
Re-hired
I saw a gorgeous winter cougar
On a Vespa scooter
With a guy no more than 35
I said, "Are you worried about the difference in your age?"
And she said, "Listen
If he dies, he dies."
Whoa
Retired
Those working days are in my past
Retired
I can finally speak my mind at last
Retired
I'm driving slow and saving gas
On permanent vacation
Golf is my new vocation
I'm retired
You know, I'd take computer classes
If I could find my reading glasses
And I can't hear a darn thing you know
(Hello? What?)
I put those kids through college
But if they've got so much knowledge
Why do they keep asking me for dough?
The answer's "no."
Retired
I was a captain in the Navy
Flew jets, yeah
And drove those women crazy
Romance
No, I haven't gotten lazy
I'm still at attention
No Cialis intervention
Required
I'd leave a tip, but did I mention
I'm living on a pension
And retired?
Hey, Margaret, look what I found
Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee