paroles de chanson Tentacle-Vision / I Heart Dancing - SpongeBob SquarePants

[Episode starts at the night view of Bikini Bottom with a scallop on the sign, then a view of Squidward's house, with a light now turned on.

Squidward: All of the most intelligent programming starts before 5 AM.
Announcer: Our programming will begin shortly.
Squidward: No, no, no.
Take your time.
It's worth the wait.
Announcer: Bikini Bottom Public Access presents: [Squidward claps his hands] "
Fab and Fancy", your source for the latest in exotic pets, collectible jewel-encrusted mittens, [doorbell rings] and classical doorbell chimes...
Squidward: How sophisticating!
Announcer: ...
Has been cancelled!
Squidward: [spits out steam] Oh, yeah, I haven't made the coffee yet. [cuts to coffee maker as he makes the coffee] Why in the world would they cancel "
Fab and Fancy"?
What could possibly be more enriching? [as he drinks his coffee, guitar music starts playing, the house starts shaking and Squidward spits out coffee] What??!! [a man continues to play the guitar on TV.
He's then lit on fire, and then explodes and a title card comes up saying "
The Guitar Lord".]
Zeus: Hey.
I'm Zeus the Guitar Lord.
I don't have a guitar yet.
But if I did, I would want a really killer one like this! [pulls out a paper,
Squidward: [He scoffs.
He obviously doesn't know the first thing about music!
This is an outrage!
Zeus: [shows his phone number: "1-32G-LORD"] So, here's my number if you want to talk about... [phone rings] Hello?
Squidward: [angrily] Where is my "
Fab and Fancy"?!
Zeus: Your...
What?
Squidward: I'm quite certain you wouldn't know culture if it bit you on the guitar!
Zeus: Uh...
Hummm...
I don't have a guitar.
Squidward: Do they just give a show to just anybody over there?
Zeus: Pretty much.
My mom gave me this one for my birthday.
Squidward: [surprised] Really?
Zeus: Yeah.
I wanted a guitar or a star named after me...
But you know, whatever.
I guess a TV show is cool.
Squidward: It's that easy? [hangs up phone and dials a number] Hello?
Bikini Bottom Public Access? [excitedly] Give me a TV show!
Give me a TV show!
I want a show! [cut to the Krusty Krab later] Come on!
Just a few more minutes, Squiddie, and it will be your turn to bask in the limelight!
Sponge
Bob: Ohhh, yeah!
Oh, limelight basking!
Baskin' in the limelight! [laughs] Oh, good times.
Good times. [turns to Squidward] So where will said basking take place?
Squidward: [angrily] Like, I would tell you!
Hmph... [thinking] Although, I've waited my whole life to have enough glory to rub it in someone's face.
Anyone's face. [turns to Sponge
Bob who winks.
Even that face.
Okay!
I'll tell you, but the last thing I would want is for you to show up so plug your ears! [shoves Krabby Patties in Sponge
Well, I don't want to toot my own whistle, but...
Wait, no!
That's exactly what I mean to do! [Sponge
Bob just hears Squidward mumbling.
Oh!
Sponge
Bob: Say again, Squidward?
Announcer: Bikini Bottom Public Access presents: "
Squidward Chat"!
With your host: Squidward Tentacles.
Squidward: [in his home] Greetings.
I'm Squidward Tentacles, your host of "
Squidward Chat". [Gary is seen watching TV, and clicks remote with his eye] Today, on Squidward Chat, we'll be discussing something near and dear to my heart, under-appreciated artists like myself. [Sponge

Sponge
Bob: Squidward's on TV? [screams and rushes to Squidward's house] Squidward!
Squidward! [he pants and then rushes into the house, but goes back out, knocks and then goes inside.
Squidward, you're on TV! [Squidward frowns] No, really, Squidward, come look!
Squidward: I know I'm on TV!
See the camera? [They both look at a camera] You're on TV too! [Sponge

Sponge
Bob: TV?
Squidward: Moron.
As I was saying, today, on Squidward Chat, we'll be discussing...
Patrick: Wow! [Sponge

Sponge
Bob: So I ran to tell Squidward that he was on TV and he told me that I was on TV and now you're on TV!
Patrick: I'm on TV?!
Squidward: This isn't happening!!!
Patrick: I'm not on TV! [rushes back into Squidward's house] Sponge
Bob!
I went home and turned on my TV, but...
I wasn't on the TV.
Why did you lie to me, Sponge
Bob?
Why?
Squidward: [annoyingly] Patrick, just how dumb are you?
Patrick: It varies.
Squidward: If you want to be on TV, you have to be in front of the camera!
Patrick: Ohhh.
I get it! [rushes to camera, giggling] Hi, TV people! [puts his face on the lens, then shows his mouth] And my mouth is on TV!
Grandma: This is disgusting!
Patrick: [licks and bites the lens] Sponge
Bob!
You gotta try this!
Squidward: Patrick, Sponge
Bob, get off my camera! [gets Patrick off the camera, but Patrick falls onto Squidward.
Would you get out of here?
Patrick: [scratching his head] Doubt it.
Squidward: If you like the camera so much, why don't you be the cameraman?
Patrick: Cameraman?
Squidward: That means you take all the pretty pictures.
Patrick: All right!
Sponge
Bob: Ooh ooh!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Let me do something too, please?!
Squidward: Fine.
You can be the soundman. [hands Sponge

Sponge
Bob: [amazed as an angelic choir sings] Soundman...
Squidward: Imbeciles! [clears throat] Today, we're going to be talking about... [camera is aimed at a still painting of Squidward] Why isn't the camera on me? [Patrick moves it to another painting] No!
I'm the one talking! [Patrick moves the camera around, Squidward growls and jumps in front of the camera] I'm right here!
Ahem!
Today on Squidward Chat...
We'll be discussing the under-appreciated arts. [Squidward sits down] Patrick, I'm down here! [Patrick lowers camera] As I was saying, today, we'll be... [Patrick moves the camera up and down once] Today...
Patrick: [as he moves the camera up and down] Upsy-daisy!
Downsy-wounsy!
Upsy-daisy!
Downsy-wounsy! [Squidward growls, gets up, walks up to Patrick,
Squidward: [sits back down] Now then, I was going to tell you about my fabulous... [Sponge
Bob lowers boom microphone into the scene, hits it on Squidward's head and puts it in his mouth] Sponge...!
Sponge
Bob: It's heavy! [Squidward grabs it and places it in Sponge
Thanks!
But it itches. [Cut to Mr.

Patrick: [off-screen] I gotta go potty!
Mr.
Krabs: Squidward has his own TV show?
Squidward: Well, you'll just have to hold it, Patrick!
Now, if there are no more interruptions... [Mr.
Krabs holds a sign that says "
Eat at the Krusty Krab"
Mr.
Krabs: Eat at the Krusty Krab, home of the original Krabby Patty! [Squidward gets up] And remember, we change our grease monthly!
Squidward: Out! [pushes Mr.
Krabs out and comes back,
Mr.
Krabs: [comes back in, dances with sign and sings] Krusty Krab!
Krusty Krab!
We don't want just you!
We want your money too!
Sandy: Whee, doggy!
I can line-dance better than that! [goes in front of the camera and dances] Yee-haw!
Pearl: Daddy!
I'm borrowing your wallet! [sees Mr.
Line dancing?
Eww!
That is so lame.
What they need is my way cool cheer routine. [Pearl falls onto Squidward's desk, breaking it in half] Give me a K!
Plankton: Oh, please.
I can cause far more collateral damage than that! [walks off] Karen, where'd you put my death ray?
Pearl: Go, team, go!
Go, team, go!
Go, team, go! [Plankton appears on camera, laughs evilly and starts firing lasers around the house,
Patrick: [laughs as he rocks the camera up and down] My shorts are wet!
Pearl: [as camera pans at Sandy, then at Pearl, and then at Mr.
Fight, team, fight!
Fight, team, fight!
Fight, team, fight! [Plankton then fires at Mr.

Plankton: And eat at the Chum Bucket or perish! [he laughs evilly and then Mr.

Mr.
Krabs: The Krusty Krab!
The Krusty Krab!
Eat at the Krusty Krab!
Squidward: [sadly] Nooo!!!
My show!
Sponge
Bob: [rises from behind the desk along with his arms and then rubs Squidward's back] You seem tense.
Squidward: [groans and pushes Sponge
Cut that out! [Squidward gets angry and veins throb in his forehead] That's it!
Everyone, out!!! [everybody stops what they're doing] What do you think this is, huh?
Some kind of housewarming?!!
Larry the Lobster: [as Squidward frowns] Did somebody say housewarming?
Hey, everyone!
It's a housewarming! [citizens come into Squidward's house cheering as the house's cheeks start puffing up.

Squidward: Get off my set!
This is not working!!!
Man: Actually, I'd say the show is doing just fine. [he approaches Squidward] At least according to our latest ratings. [pulls out a bag of money, big at first, but then zooms out to show that the bag is tiny.
He then laughs, coughs and clears his throat] This is actually a lot by public access standards.
Everyone is working out except for you... [points to a lady] ...
You... [points to a boy] ...
You... [points to a man] ...
And you!
Squidward: Me? [Squidward is kicked out of his house.

Announcer: And now, Bikini Bottom's top public access show for the last 20 weeks: [as horn toots] "
Squidward's House Party"!
With your host, Zeus the Guitar Lord.
Zeus: Hey, hey, hey, Bikini Bottom.
Are you ready to party Squidward style? [crowd cheers, applauds.
Thank you for making us number one because I was finally able to get... [shows his guitar on camera] ...
A new guitar!
Thanks, Squidward! [Squidward growls] LET'
S PAARRTTYY!!! [As a curtain reveals Zeus, he begins to play guitar as audience cheers and applauds.
The scene zooms out to show Sandy line-dancing, Sponge
Bob playing the keyboard, Patrick playing the drums and Pearl doing her cheer.
Mr.
Krabs swings on a rope holding the sign that says "
Eat at the Krusty Krab" as Plankton is pressing buttons, which fire lasers.
Cuts to TV, then to Squidward,
Squidward: [as he stomps on the floor while holding a broom] Keep it down!
I'm trying to sleep! [screams as the camera pans down on Zeus, rocks start falling from the ceiling.
People continue to party around Squidward's house.
Fades to black,