Back to Solipsism

When I've slept enough
But I can't wake up
When the unspecific disease
Takes hold
And my mind wanders
Back to solipsism
Its circular comforts
My brain in a vat

The answer to every question
Is why
I'm a child
But not carefree
And I wonder
Is that the fault of me?

Is it a protest or a privilege
To have these thoughts?
Is time too long
And the universe so vast
That I might as well laugh
Even though nothing of consequence
Will take notice?
If anything of consequence exists

And if there are no consequences
What is this?

Am I a God
A might-as-well be
Infinite container
Of microbiomes
Tiny worlds
Unaware
Like me
Of their size?

Do they launch probes
From my kidneys
That map my gonads
And roll across
My unimaginable terrain?

The list goes on
Of imponderables
Which I ponder
Is it just to pass the time?
And what is time?
See what I mean?

I don't think I mean anything

Walk my dog?
I would
If it wasn't raining