Her Wonderful Ass

There was a young lass
Who had a fine ass
And she showed it whenever she could
At markets and fairs
You'd see her out there
At showing her ass she was good
The men would all gather
They'd be in a lather
To see the best ass in the land
They'd pat it and poke it
And scratch it and stroke it
And asked if she needed a hand
It's big and it's bold
A joy to behold
In honor we'll all raise a glass
Not a ram or a sow
Nor a horse or a cow
Compares to her wonderful ass
Each Saturday night
She'd wash it up right
With water and baby shampoo
Then after a scrubbin'
She'd dry it and rub in
Some mystical oil from Peru
Then out for a walk
Where the men would all gawk
And they'd whisper whenever she'd pass
I'd borrow or steal
Make the Devil a deal
To have such a wonderful ass
It's big and it's bold
A joy to behold
In honor we'll all raise a glass
Not a ram or a sow
Nor a horse or a cow
Compares to her wonderful ass
The ladies in town
Would never unfrown
At Jenny, the pride of Kildare
They'd chide her and ride her
They'd wrongly describe her
As someone who wasn't all there
But Jenny would smile
For she knew all the while
These women were jealous and crass
And they'd never know
The pleasure that flows
From having a wonderful ass
It's big and it's bold
A joy to behold
In honor we'll all raise a glass
Not a ram or a sow
Nor a horse or a cow
Compares to her wonderful ass
She was lovely and fair
A beauty quite rare
So it just was a matter of time
Till she met her true love
Her own turtledove
Who'd more than her ass on his mind
They were very well met
For he was a vet
And he knew every inch of her ass
But it's not how it sounds
Not supple and round
It's gray with big ears and eats grass
It's big and it's bold
A joy to behold
In honor we'll all raise a glass
Not a ram or a sow
Nor a horse or a cow
Compares to her wonderful ass
Yes, it's big and it's bold
A joy to behold
In honor we'll all raise a glass
Not a ram or a sow
Nor a horse or a cow
Compares to her wonderful ass