Traumatized

Switched on my dawgs, never snitched on my bros
And I always put the money before the hoes
But there's things I've done that nobody knows
I've been good from the start
I do everything with heart, and I put that on my soul
But there's things I've done that nobody knows

No, nobody knows, nobody knows
Nobody knows, nobody knows
That there's things I've done that nobody knows

Nobody knows, nobody knows
Nobody knows, nobody knows
Things that I've done that nobody knows

It really touched me when they killed CJ though
Was locked up in the cell when I heard it on the radio
Same year they killed Dean, shit was obscene
Stab wounds gave him fourteen, it wasn't his beef

When they killed Gumzy, it felt strange, man, I couldn't sleep
I was too young to understand so I didn't weep
He used to throw me couple, told me stay out the street
Bet he couldn't guess that baby Shaq would be in there deep

R.I.P. to the ones that never made it
It gave me trauma, frustration and dedication

They killed Sammy next to PLA station
He died at sixteen but back then, that was crazy
I've shed tears for all the ones that I lost
I got their families in my prayers, keep 'em strong
They killed Chrome but through me, he'll live on
(They killed Chrome but through me, he'll live on)
Sittin' in my kitchen, sheddin' tears as I write this song

Feelin' out of place, I know the streets is not where I belong
Inside of me, there's this hurt place that I channel from
They killed Nico but his life was more than an OT spot
Everybody's lost somebody that they dearly love
They killed L's, he was just a hustler with a clean heart
They killed Stephen and the whole borough fell apart
And from that point, it wasn't any fences, either them or us

You ripped my family apart, I made my mama cry
No water fights, only murders in the summertime
So I'ma let this flame hit you just to let this pain hit you
And for all them cloudy days, I'ma let this rain hit you, nigga

Them niggas still rest in peace so how can there be peace?
Tryna leave your past behind, your heart just won't let you leave

Got it on me right now so I never preach
Ambitious, need a couple M before they bury me
If you ain't talkin' 'bout no money then what you talkin' 'bout?
I don't know what they do it for, seems like more than clout
Bobby asked me if we can talk it out
Big egos, they can't water down, hop out and walk 'em down
Meanwhile, I'm tryna be a mogul
Internet beef, I'm antisocial, get up close and vocal

Little man, the streets is an illusion, only couple man are shootin'
The way they rap, you'd think that they all do this
They slid and sunk they own ship 'cause of loose lips
That's ludicrous but when the pressure's
On, you don't know who's a snitch
Will the streets ever change? I'm a pessimist
Still got this rope around my leg, I'm the elephant

I told my youngin fuck the ends 'cause there's better things
You had a dream when you was a kid, just remember it

I ain't livin' with regret, it's what it is
I was in the street too young to comprehend
That it was gon' corrupt my head
Ask yourself will it end? It's not makin' sense
But when they kill your friend, it
Has you seein' through a bloody lens
In other words, you're traumatised
No difference between you and I, we've
All got a vice that helps us feel alright

You ripped my family apart, I made my mama cry
No water fights, only murders in the summertime
So I'ma let this flame hit you just to let this pain hit you
And for all them cloudy days, I'ma let this rain hit you, nigga