Текст песни When I Die, - Nuria

It's all a circle
We're stuck in a loop
And I can't catch a break
Oh, I need an interlude

Rain drip off of my hoodie
White soles all in the muddy soil
I talk to the money
Deep sigh, tense up the body
Tears roll, sleeve'll delete 'em
Please go, I cannot breathe
It's so calm when you are leaving
Doors slam and I repeat 'em
Now get me a shrink
I don't care what it cost
You should go pay it
Since you're what it caused
Feel like the sinner, the student and teacher
Trauma projecting, I ruined the weekend
Fly out to Buni to tell her my reasons
For never believing forgiveness could free us
Anger arises in me and between us
Talk to the stars, Aphrodite and Venus when I die

When I die
I want you to stare me in the eye
When I die
Don't cry
Don't stand there so silent
Look at my grave
What would you say?
Now look at my grave
I'm gone out the way

I thank God for life
And thank God for light
While you are in denial
I wash my cut in the Nile, oh-oh
Thank for life
And thank God for the light
While you are in denial
I wash my cut in the Nile, oh-oh

It's all a circle
We're stuck in a loop
And I can't catch a break, no
Oh, I need an interlude

I tried to tell you alive
You'll only listen when I die
I tried to show you my pain
You'll only care when I say that I've died
I tried to
You cut me
I tried to
But you'll only care

When I die
I want you to stare me in the eye
When I die
You'll cry
You'll pretend and you'll lie
Now look at my grave
Got nothing to say?
Just look at my grave
I don't even wanna say it but

When you don't talk to me
I feel forgotten, it's embarrassing
Care too much to care my friend
Parting ways in arrogance
Study people's minds to distract me from mine
It's very sick
But I don't need a therapist
Fake it 'till I fathom it
I wave it to my flower
I got thorns but still I welcome all
I hope you don't mind
I don't do pills
And don't like alcohol
Permanently terrified
Psychiatrist, I shelve the zen
Do you really hate me?
Or did I tell that myself again?