Текст песни My Unfortunate Erection (Chip's Lament) - 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee Original Cast

Fritos! M&M's? Oreos! All for one dollar!

It is tradition
That the person eliminated
From the competition
Is fair-game for derision
Especially the alpha-male
Who'll sell goodies at the bake sale
Anyone for brownies?
Anyone for choc'late chips?
Anyone for anything that isn't dated?

How could I
Have been
Elim-
Inated?

You wanna know how?
You wanna know how?
You wanna know why?

My unfortunate erection
Is destroying my perfection
It is my recollection
That everything I once did
I did perfectly

"Last year's champ defeated!"

Because of
Marigold Coneybear
Because there's something
And not a thing between us
I don't blame my brain
But I do blame my penis

My unfortunate protuberance
Seems to have its own exuberance
Anyone for M&M's?
Delicious and appropriate
Anyone for Chewy Goobers?
Expensive
Anyone for buying the shit that I'm selling?
Because my stiffy has ruined my spelling

Erection
Erection
My unfortunate erection
Whoa
It's ruining my life
It's ruining my world
It's ruining my ruining
Ruining, ruining my life
My life!
Adulthood brings its own peculiar rejection
Which is why I'm selling this PTA confection
It will ruin your complexion
All because of my unfortunate
Erection
Oh, God