July 3rd

Which way to go
I'm trying
To decide
To decide
Which way to go
I'm trying
To decide
To decide

I done dealt with a lot
I done fell to my knees
Been to hell and it's hot
I can tell you have not
I can share what I've seen, yeah
I can tell you a lot
Daddy was the realest man
Taught me how to get a bag
More important how to give it back
Turned me to a businessman
Made 250 racks
I'd spent it all just to get him back
Facts
Traumatized
I looked in my father's eyes
And I saw him die
Out of time
All I wanted to do was apologize
And I know that I say the opposite all the time
And I know I be staying positive all the time
And I know by the way I walk I seem like I'm fine
But I know if I said I'm good I'd be lying
Cause I don't know

Which way to go
I'm trying
To decide
Damn
To decide
I really don't know
Which way to go?
I'm trying
To decide
To decide
Yeah

I'm trying
To decide

I done dealt with a lot
I done fell to my knees
Been to hell and it's hot
I can tell you have not
I can share what I've seen, yeah
I can tell you a lot
Got my head full of pride
But is it worth what I lost?
If I don't have my dad by my side
It was tears in my eyes
When I heard from the doc
That he had a cancer inside
What do you mean?
That tore me to pieces
I wanted to scream seeing what I seen
My daddy couldn't breathe
I couldn't believe it
I couldn't think
All I did was freeze

Still I grieve
And when I be sleeping
That scene repeat for me in my dream
Surrounded by demons
I try to release 'em
Wanna live in peace
And when I wake
I just try to shake it
But I can't
So I try to fake it
But it ain't really all that basic
It ain't what you think
And when I smile
No it ain't the same
And to be honest
I can't explain it
But a part of my heart is gone
I can't feel it beat
But I can feel it bleed
Eyes burn
Probably could fill the sea
I done been fractured
Into a million pieces
My daddy couldn't breathe
I was right there thinking it should be me
How did my life turn into a memory?
Jaw dropped down to my shirt
But I couldn't scream
Called God
But with my service
It didn't ring
It was fireworks over the city streets
Heart broke on July 3rd, 2023
Don't know

Which way to go
I'm trying to decide
To decide
Which way to go
I'm trying to decide
To decide

Ultimately, you know you choose
What you want to do with your life
Either you're gonna get your life together
And go on and lead or you're not
That's up to you at this moment
To decide what type of life you want to have
How you want to go
There's-- Sometimes there's roadblocks
A lot of life is just about choices
And you have to take responsibility
For the choices that you make
Period