18 Years and Counting

Hope for better days
Social moral ways
That would make them think I'm okay
I don't want to be a burden to anyone I love
And I don't think the last words in my head before I sleep should be
And I don't think the last words in my head should be
I want to die
The whole world is a burden
And the memories won't go away
My heart is always pumping
My legs are always trembling
And I feel sick
Sick to my stomach
Nothing's ever happening to me
But I guess that's what you're aiming for
And what does healing look like to you?
It's just different for me
It's gonna take time
It's already been eighteen years
Eighteen fucking years
And I've been in a fucking mental institution for eighteen years
And counting
Eighteen years and counting
Eighteen years and counting
The process, it comes back
The memories, you'll forget
Then all those days, you'll remember
And it'll ruin the rest of days
The process, it comes back
The memories, you'll forget
Then all those days, you'll remember
And it'll ruin the rest of days
And what does healing look like to you?