Hell No

I was driving east from Reno, know that I was Denver bound
So I stopped off in Salina, wanted to take a look around
I had Zachary sittin' next to me in the driver's seat
Said, "Damn, this road is beat," "Pull off here," he said
"Oh man, this place here looks sketchy"

The place was cool, it was called Cheetah's
They had Bushmills, they had rocks
Served me nachos with Velveeta
I gotta tell you, man, I was shocked
Gave a little stretch and turned to survey 'round the room
"Hey bartender, how 'bout round three? Huh, and this one's on me"

I had to adjust my eyes to the dim bar light
And I turned around to my surprise
This straight Britney-lookin' girl said
"Hey man, do you mind if I sit here?"

Well, I said, "Hell no, take off my load"
Her blue jeans were cut so goddamn low
Zach said, "Hey, she's yours, dog, go"
"So darlin', how long have you lived here?"

Aw, shucks

When I looked across the bar
Some fellas were laughin' at us, all right
I figured she'd probably slept with most guys in this dive
That don't matter, it's just one night
Then I said, "Whoa," when she asked me to dance
And she smiled so devilishly
I only said yes 'cause the jukebox was playin' "Hang Three"

We were movin' for a little bit
The next song was sung by Travis Tritt
And I said, "Shit, man, all right, that's it
It's time for another drink"
"What do you think, darlin'?"
"Shit, all right"
Serve 'em up, son

Well, the night was gettin' spendy, already $75 deep
She said, "Excuse me, baby, I gotta go to the restroom
I'll meet you back at the bar"
And I thought, "Well, shit man, I gotta go too"

But I didn't know she wasn't a lady
I didn't know she was a man
I didn't know 'til she was standin'
Just like I was in the can
But I should've known
"Here we go," "Yeah, baby"
"Let's go," "Nah," ah