Babs' Lament

I see him there, looking so dapper and fine
Don't mean to stare, but God, if those blue eyes were mine
I wish he knew how much my body just yearns to entwine with his
That bliss of a yeasty, bready kiss

That blue-eyed baker
Sends shivers down my spine
That blue-eyed baker
His strudel is sublime

Imagine us in Stepney eating bangers and mash
He'd take me to the Ivy and be splashing his cash

That blue-eyed baker
He's handy with a spoon
That blue-eyed baker
No woman is immune

I know I'm being silly and it never could be
So there'll be no blue-eyed baker for me

(Spoken)
But still, a girl can dream, eh?
(Sung)

Imagine us both, we'd live on the coast
He'd make a Sunday roast on a Friday
My very own naked chef!
He's caring and kind and he wouldn't mind if I insist
The gravy's made my way, so banish the bisto
We'd drive in his Audi all over the town
And if it's not cloudy we'll have the top down
Our life would be dreamy, he'd feed me grissini
And if I'm really lucky he might fill my panini

My blue-eyed baker
The man that I adore
There's no one greater
My husband number four

'Cause after Bill and Barry and Todd
I've had enough of men who are odd
But Phil is like an Athenian god
And I'll be Aphrodite
Where's my see-through nightie?

So fire up the oven
Turn on my pilot light
I'm here for loving
We'll make bread every night

I go a little wobbly at the sound of his name
My thermostat's exploded, he's ignited my flame
And if his brioche rises then we know who to blame
Grab the cheese and let's fondue it
Philip, you can shake my cruet
And he'll even eat my suet
Wait and see
If you saw the blue-eyed baker and me