Текст песни She Got the Goldmine (I Got The Shaft) - Countdown Nashville

Well, I guess it was back in '63
When eatin' my cookin' got the better of me
So I asked this little girl I was goin' with to be my wife
Well, she said she would and I said, "I do"
But I'da said "I wouldn't" if I'da just knew
How sayin' "I do" was gonna screw up all of my life

Well, the first few years weren't all that bad
I'll never forget the good times we had
'Cause I'm reminded every month when I send her the child support
Well, it wasn't too long till the lust all died
And I must admit I wasn't too surprised
The day I come home and found my suitcase sittin' out on the porch (haha)
Well, I tried to get in, she'd changed the lock
And I found this note taped on the mailbox
Said, "Goodbye, turkey, my attorney will be in touch" (mhm)

So I decided right then and there
I was gonna do what's right, give her fair share, but brother
I didn't know her share was gonna be that much (hahaha)

She got the goldmine (she got the goldmine)
I got the shaft (I got the shaft)
They split it right down the middle
And they gave her the better half
Well it all sounds sorta funny
But it hurts too much to laugh
She got the goldmine
I got the shaft

Now listen, you ain't heard nothin' yet
Why, they gave her the colour television set
Then they gave her the house, the kids and both o' the cars, see?
Well then they start talkin' 'bout child support, alimony and the cost of the court
Didn't take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I was

I'm tellin' ya they have made a mistake
'Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes
'Sides, everything I ever had worth takin' they already took
While she's livin' like a queen on alimony
I'm workin' two shifts and eatin' baloney and askin' myself
"Why didn't you just learn how to cook?"

They gave her the goldmine (she got the goldmine)
They give me the shaft (I got the shaft)
They said they're splittin' it all down the middle
But she got the better half
Well, it all sounds kinda funny
But it hurts too much to laugh
She got the goldmine
I got the shaft

Yes, she got the goldmine (she got the goldmine)
I got the shaft (I got the shaft)
They split it all down the middle
And then they gave her the better half
Well it all sounds so funny (huhuhu, hahaha)
But it hurt too much to laugh
She got the goldmine
I got the shaft

You know I ain't kiddin', I got the shaft
Now, I don't have to worry about totin' a billfold no more, hahahaha
I let my wife tote it
I'm gonna be carryin' food stamps
Get it, judge? I'm gonna be, hahahaha
That's, that's not funny, huh?
Ah-hah? Contempt of court?
What d'ya mean?
Listen judge, I'm just kiddin'
I mean, I mean you can't get blood out of a turnip, can ya?